I am 34. Thirty four and starting all over. Sometimes that is shitty. Sometimes that is exciting. Sometimes I am unlucky. Sometimes I am blessed. Just depends on when you ask me about it. I moved out of my ex-boyfriend’s house this past weekend and am spending a few weeks at my parents’ until I move on. Single at 34 isn’t exactly how I thought my life would go, but is it ever?
Being beautifully bipolar can be messy sometimes – we do things we shouldn’t do, we say things we shouldn’t say. In our depressions we push people away, try to save them from being engulfed in the darkness that has consumed us. This mood disorder causes us to do a whole lot of shit we shouldn’t do. If you are also beautifully bipolar, you understand.
Sometimes you have to start over – with a new therapist, by taking responsibility for your actions while you were manic, by reaching out to the people you pushed away when you were depressed. Sometimes you have to get dumped and move to a new place where no one knows you. And that’s okay, to start over. Sure, you are going to make more mistakes and maybe you’ll start over again and again. It’s okay.
Image courtesy of dan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net