I shouldn’t have driven today, but I didn’t know that ’til I was driving to my therapy appointment. I had a hard time focusing, after all, half my head had come off. I did make it there safely and back, but had I known I was in such a state I would have called her and canceled.
I got enough sleep last night. No recreational drugs. Weird.
I was having trouble talking to my therapist today. I kept rubbing my head, closing my eyes, and trying to find the right words. I told her my head felt weird, like the top of my head was coming off, like it was effervescent.
This has happened before as an appetizer to mania. I hope not this time. I have not been TRULY manic in a long time and, quite frankly, don’t want to visit that land anytime soon as alluring as it may sometimes seem.
I came home and took a short nap and got rid of the headache that had come on. But my head still wasn’t, isn’t, right. I talked to my mom and I could hear it as I spoke, or tried to – again I was having trouble with my vocabulary. It was slow and maybe a little slurred.
I don’t know what else to do but to try and sleep it off and if it is not better tomorrow I will call my psychiatrist. We need not enter more dangerous waters.
If your head ever feels “weird,” talk to a professional. Try not to be scared and try not to make any big decisions. Sometimes, as I’ve mentioned, this is a precursor to mania, and we all know how much trouble mania can get us into.
That’s it for me today. I need a break. My therapist thinks it is all the “drama” going on in my life and it just got to be too much. She told me to take a break. No packing. No searching for a new apartment. Just chill out with the dogs.
Happy to do so.
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net