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Dealing with Surprise Stressors

surprise stressorsI took a break. This break-up is akin to a divorce. We’ve been together 6 years in July and have lived together for almost 4 & 1/2 years. This isn’t just a break-up; this is devastating. So I had to get away. I live in Virginia and went to northern North Carolina¬†to visit family for a week. It was good. I slept better. I put it in the back of my mind. I stopped counting the days we hadn’t been in contact.

Then I came home.

It was a disaster – the house was a disaster, the dishes weren’t done, there was dog poop in the living room. Not exactly a warm welcome. Then I found the empty boxes which I assume are for me to pack my things in and leave. I don’t know. I haven’t had a chance to talk to him.

So, within a half an hour (after a 4 hour drive), I was bombarded by stress. I could feel the panic in my chest and knew a panic attack was right around the corner if I didn’t do something. I called my mom. I called two of my best friends. I vented. I listened. I breathed. I used what my therapist calls my “tools.” It could have been bad, but my family and friends were there and realized the state I was in. I am thankful for them; they keep me grounded.

My point? You are not in this alone. There is always someone to listen. Don’t be afraid to cry – I did. If you are in crisis and the stress is just too much call the Suicide Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK. You can even chat on their website.

Just know that when you are completely overwhelmed, all is not lost.

I will come out of this a better woman. Just wait…


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Dealing with Surprise Stressors

Elaina J. Martin

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APA Reference
Martin, E. (2015). Dealing with Surprise Stressors. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 28, 2020, from


Last updated: 15 Apr 2015
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