Oh. Sweet, sweet holidays.
I’m going to be honest with you, as I always am, I’ve been a little nutty the past few days. (Please don’t take alarming offense to the fact that I used the word “nutty” and write me a scathing comment. It’s how I talk, and I am talking about myself anyway). I’ve noticed some signs – rapid speech, interrupting others when they are speaking, fidgeting in my seat, a LOT of energy. Yep, signs of mania or hypomania for me. I am being careful and safe and letting my close support network know what is going on and I urge you to do the same if you start to feel “different” than normal. It is really important to not be the only one sitting on a mountain of mania. For example, when I told my boyfriend last night that I felt like running down the street barefoot to the park in 40 degree weather (as I had once done before), he convinced me that that wasn’t the best idea. Sometimes you have to rely on sounder minds to make the decisions.
Well, all that stored up energy came out again today, only this time as irritability. I was yelling at the dogs for barking. I was cussing nearly as much as my sailor boyfriend. I just felt completely overwhelmed and agitated. And no, I didn’t get myself into any trouble, cause any fights, and the dogs quickly forgave me, but it sucks.
I came teetering to the edge of a panic attack but was able to avoid a full-blown catastrophe thanks to my boyfriend…he made me laugh.
All of this is to say: It is the holidays and people are going to, as one of my best friends puts it, “lose their shit.” It won’t be just the ones of us with labels like borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder or anxiety disorder or depression or schizophrenia. It is true for everyone. So don’t take it so personally when you lose yours.
There are a million things to get under your skin during the holidays – parking lots, traffic, going over budget, not find the perfect gift, not getting the perfect gift, dealing with extended family, social gatherings and parties, etc., etc.
You are allowed to be human and feel things and react whichever way you see fit. That is your right. I do urge you to try and keep your cool, but if you lose it, know that we’ve all been there and that probably, during this holiday season, we will have our moments, too.
So hang in there. Remember the reasons you celebrate and shrug the small stuff off.
Oh, and don’t yell at the dogs.
Image courtesy of debspoons at FreeDigitalPhotos.net