Being beautifully bipolar comes with its ups and downs. Many people equate living with bipolar disorder to being on a roller coaster – up and down, up and down. Medication changes come with the ride.
Today I walked into my psychiatrist’s office and told him we needed to make some med changes. Yeah, this is me being in charge of my mental health. If I don’t speak up, who will? As you may have picked up on in previous posts my Anxiety is being a bitch. It is not stealing moments, but days of my life – days where I can’t leave the safety of my bed, days where I have to cancel plans. Anxiety has become the boss.
So my psychiatrist and I talked about options – “Do you wanna go off Prozac?” “Have you tried Cymbalta?” “Okay, Zoloft is out.”
It is frustrating because I don’t know what will work, what will alleviate this fear that wells up in my chest sometimes. It often comes out of nowhere and is simply there with my waking. I have to trust the doc, that he knows the medications, that he knows me.
Antidepressants treat anxiety too, I’m not sure if you know that, especially in people with obsessive compulsive disorder (Me, over here in the fuchsia top. They help me!).
So I have a new regimen to follow – a little less of this, a little more of that, and let’s add this to the mix. Yet another drug.
I hate med changes – the way they make my head feel, the way they treat my body, and who the hell knows what my mood will be like?!
So just know that I get it, that it is a necessary evil in the quest for stability. You have to hang in there long enough to see if it takes, if it works. And if it doesn’t – speak up! You are your own advocate.
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