I’ve had a rough time with the passing of Robin Williams. He is one of my comedic heroes – right up there with Steve Martin and Martin Short and Lucille Ball. Classically funny. Funny on camera in a series. Funny in an interview. Always funny.
I grew up with Robin Williams. His many movies. His out-of-this-world character. He was amazing.
He was…Still hard to swallow.
In my research of fellow Beautifully Bipolar beings, I found him. So far, they are saying he was suffering from depression – and well he may have been, but was it a symptom of bipolar disorder? I don’t know if it will be confirmed, but I believe this amazingly funny man lived for many years with bipolar disorder.
So how does that make him – a celebrity, and a little old blogger like me, – similar? Well, we like to laugh. We both attempted suicide.
The difference is he succeeded. Am I jealous? No. Not for one minute.
I can’t stop imagining his death. I know, morbid, but it happened. A man a year younger than my dad died – for reasons only he knows and that makes me sad. I cry as I write this. I wish he and I could have had a talk. Maybe something I could have said, from one suicidal person to another, could have helped, could have stopped this travesty.
But the difference between Robin Williams and Elaina J is that I lived. I lived to write this post, and many more before it and many more after. And it’s sad.
I hope this post makes you realize there is life after suicidal thoughts – attempts. There is so much more that life has to offer, I know. I found love and kindness and acceptance and a group full of people who are there for me – day or night.
If you are feeling hopeless, don’t give up. We lost a comedic hero but we don’t need to lose you. Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline if you need to. They are there just for you…and me.