When you have bipolar disorder there are so many challenges. Med changes. Therapy. Appointments. Side effects from meds like libido changes, weight gain, acne (!), tremors, nausea, sweating, headaches. It’s rough. There is debilitating depression and dangerous mania.
And it’s so easy to want to give up. The meds aren’t working so why bother? But what if you gave them one more week and you noticed an improvement or the next cocktail was the right one? What if you are one med change away from living a “normal” life? You have to hang in there. Don’t give up.
Therapy is so hard. I know. I feel like it’s the place where I take out all the ugly bits of my life and hand them over to someone else. These are the ugly bits I try to hide, but in therapy they are in full view. It’s so easy to cancel your appointments, to not show up, to not do the work. You cancel once, then twice, then soon you aren’t going at all. Therapy is important to living a healthy bipolar life. Don’t give up on it.
Depression is ugly and it lies. It will try to tell you that dying is better than living. It will try to tell you that the world would be better without you. It will try to tell you that you will never feel better again. Don’t listen to Depression. He is not your friend so why take his advice? What if tomorrow you wake up and you feel a bit better? What if tomorrow is the best day of your life? Don’t give up.
None of this is easy. I can’t count the number of times I wanted to give up. It took a year and a half to find a med cocktail that worked for me – that’s countless med changes and side effects. There were days I was so frustrated, but I put my trust in my psychiatrists and eventually we found something that worked for me.
I don’t like therapy. I’m guilty of not finding a new therapist just so I could have a break. But that wasn’t helping me so I jumped back in. I took my box of secrets with me and together we began to sort through them. It really helps.
I have believed Depression’s lies. I have been suicidal. I have acted on those thoughts. I’ve nearly died. Don’t give up. So many wonderful things have happened that I would have missed if I gave up. It would have been such a waste.
So, if you’re struggling today know that I understand how tough it is, but you have to try. Don’t give up.