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Archives for Why Attachment Matters?

Attachment in the News

Better than a time machine

Your life experiences have made you who you are. They shaped you into the person you are today.

For some of us, this may not be a bad thing. Despite life’s challenges, we have overcome. And we are now free to share and inspire and support others on their journeys to hopefully do the same.

For others, if there was an option to go back in time and make a different choice at a critical point in...
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Differences, Not Disorders

How Our Childhood Affects Our Health as Adults

It has been awhile since I've written. I feel too young to be writing it, but I have been dealing with some serious health issues. After being ill for a long time, I stubbornly visited a new doctor who referred me on to a specialist and now I have a diagnosis for what's been ailing me for years and increasingly getting worse until this summer, when I was too sick and weak for many weeks...
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General

What’s the Big Deal with Attachment Parenting?

Photo courtesy of Free Images. Photo by Teresa Howes of Mt. Brydes, ON, Canada

I hear, from time to time, that Attachment Parenting is not the only way to form a secure attachment with your child.
“Attachment” is very literally the relationship style between parent and child, and “secure” or “insecure” describes the quality of that relationship style. Secure attachment develops...
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General

Prepare for Parenting by Healing Your Childhood Wounds

We often hear the cornerstone of healthy parenting quoted as consistently “responding with sensitivity” to our infants’ and children’s emotional and physical needs in relation to their biological-developmental stage. And while I agree this overarching idea is at the core of healthy parenting, I do not feel that it is necessarily as instinctual as many authors and parenting experts claim.

Before parents can even fathom relying on their gut feelings in...
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Attachment in the News

The Emotional Legacy of Our Family Trees

I’ve been helping my mom research our genealogy off and on over the last few years. Lately, she’s been hunting for tombstones. As I walk the oldest part of the cemeteries, reading the grave markers, I am continually taken aback by how many mark the burials of infants and young children.

We know on an intellectual level why it was difficult for our ancestors to make it through childhood, with disease and famine and lack of...
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Differences, Not Disorders

On High-Reactive Temperaments and Secure Attachment

I attended a mother-and-tots group the other night. There were two babies in the corner, sitting in their car seats, one about two months old and the other closer to four months. The older baby was contently looking around, and the younger was sleeping, later waking to gaze out and only fussing when it was time to eat, afterwards being happy to lie on a blanket on the floor. I asked the mom of the...
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Attachment in the News

Why Breastfeed? It’s More than Milk–It’s About Teaching Relationship Skills

The core of healthy parenting is responding to our children with sensitivity. On this last day of World Breastfeeding Week, which runs annually from August 1-7, I wanted to spotlight this choice in infant feeding that is often taken for granted in how critical the act can be in getting motherhood--and babyhood--off to the best start. And I'm not talking about the nutritional aspects, but rather the basis of the mother-child relationship...
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What Childhood Wounds are You Carrying Around?

There’s a lot at stake with how we raise our children, with how our communities view and treat children. We, as a society, are slow to put into practice what research solidly shows as the most effective, and healthiest, way to parent. We, as a society, still struggle to see how the parent-child relationship and the home environment it creates translates not only to that child’s happiness as a child but also as...
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General

For the Health of Our Society: “Normal” Child Abuse Prevention

Many of the mothers and mothers-to-be that I talk to are young—teens and early 20s—a challenging group to promote healthy parenting practices to, as they are still growing and developing themselves. We know this anecdotally. We also know this scientifically. This 2010 UK study is among many that show that the brain doesn’t reach maturity as once theorized until people are at least age 30. Executive functioning, such as planning and decision-making,...
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