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39 Comments to
How and Why Do Those With Borderline Personality Disorder Hurt Themselves?

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  1. Thanks for the good article, many people do not know WHY some may do the things they do.

  2. @Cathi: Try going to http://www.abct.org for a referral to someone trained in assessment and diagnosis as well as agoraphobia. That person can take you through gradual steps to overcome your agoraphobia and eventually may employ group therapy too–just not right away. Good luck!

    @Others: Thanks for your comments!

  3. I’ve been on countless websites, and have read all the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder, and I’m concerned that I might have it. What should I do?

  4. @Cakey: The only way you can know is to make an appointment with a licensed mental health practitioner who is familiar with the problem. You should also know that if you have BPD, treatment has been found to help!

  5. My parents won’t get me an appointment, because they don’t believe me. I mean, I’m not saying that I HAVE it, I’m just saying that to me it seems very possible. But obviously they don’t.

  6. @Cakey: Try seeing your school counselor.

  7. What do I say? “Hi, I think I have a psychological disorder”? Ha.

  8. @Cakey: Just tell the counselor you’ve been worried about yourself because of some things you’ve read. They’ll take it from there…

  9. Okay, I see. Thank you for all your help.

  10. hey…my aunt thinks i am BPD!!! How do i find out if i am or not??

  11. @Sarah: You can learn a lot about BPD from our book Borderline Personality Disorder For Dummies. But to know if you have it, you should really consult a licensed mental health professional.

  12. First off, i am so thankful for these posts! They are very encouraging and it is nice to know that i am not the only one struggling with who i am or how to live my life in a healthy way.

    Secondly, i have been doing a lot of research on BPD and seem to have a very high amount of the symptoms. I have been diagnosed with depression and started taking anti depressants 2 months ago. (My parents waited months before putting me on medication because they wanted to try natural substitutes first. i took serotone and dopatone). The doctor just recently raised my dose of antidepressants because i havnt felt any effect. I cut and have been for almost 3 years. I started my research a week ago when i cut very badly to where i was concerned i needed stitches. My family doesnt know i cut and i was too scared to ask to be taken to get stitches. I am completely confused and unsure of everything in my life and i wanted to find answers. all my questions and research led me to BPD. I want to share this with my doctor but i am terrified. I have lied to her about how badly i feel because i dont want my family to hurt or worry. i hurt and i worry all the time and its unbearable. Much of my impulsive behavior my family doesnt know about and they will be so hurt and disappointed that im not who they think. I mean im not even sure who i am, but i dont think anyone is? Everything is just so confusing and im scared. what if i dont have it and i cause pain to everyone for nothing. my doctor already wants me to see a psychologist but our insurance wont cover it and my parents rather me talk to someone from church. i want to talk to someone who is knowledgable and familiar in this area so i can figure this all out. My family and my doctor both dont know how severe my depression is or about the symptoms that i have found people with BPD have that i have also. I dont know if i am exaggerating my symptoms. i dont think i am but im honestly not sure. The one thing i read about that i cant relate to is that alot of people with BPD have been sexually abused, physically abused, neglected or have experienced other serious, harmful events, but i have not. i have a loving family and have tried so hard to recall any traumatic experience but i cant remember anything happening. also the percentage of teens with BPD is low and i am only 17. I am frightened and am completely at a loss of what to do. Please give me any advice on what i should do because i am tired of hurting God,my family, my friends, and myself. i just want help.

  13. @Lacey: Don’t try to figure out all of this on your own. I’d first recommend opening up with your doctor; it won’t be the first time he or she has heard a story like this. Ask your doctor for ideas about who could help you. Sometimes there are social workers, counselors, or psychologists that work with doctors. Other times, the community has resources that your doctor or nurse will know about. Also, universities sometimes have reduced fee (or even free) clinics. Ask your doctor about those too. What’s important to know is that you can get better. We can’t help you from here, but there are people who can in your community.

  14. I wonder why these articles about self harm always try to link it up to Borderline Personality Disorder? Lots of people self harm who do not have BPD. Why are there rarely articles on self-harm without making it all about BPD? I think some people get the wrong idea that the only people who self harm are people suffering from this particular personality disorder. Dr. Elliott, I would have loved to see comments like these in your article: “Although many people who self-harm have a personality disorder (most commonly borderline, avoidant, or paranoid), many people who self harm do not. Self-harming behavior is also often comorbid with those who have anxiety and mood disorders.” (Nock et al 2006)

    I used to self harm as a teen, but I don’t think I had any mental disorders–perhaps depression. Back then, I thought I invented self-harming (never heard of it before when I was doing it), and in retrospect, I see it as an immature coping behavior. As I grew older, I learned better coping skills and I also had more control in removing myself from intolerable situations. When we’re kids, we’re just kind of stuck. If self-harm helps you get through those years, I guess it has some utility.

    I identified most strongly with these reasons for harming from the article: to escape emotional pain and to feel better. And I remember it did have a somewhat addictive pull.

  15. Well where to start , new to all this i mean excepting. I dont know what is wrong but i do know that nine out of ten days i prey to god at night(Please let me close my eyes and never open them agine, I beg for release almost every day.

  16. @Teri: Thanks for making that point.
    @Candace: I hope you seek out some professional help as soon as possible.

  17. I am really grateful to have come across this article. I don’t think anyone is going to read this but oh well. I am really struggling with my BPD, and last night for the first time in year I hit myself. I was so emotionally overwhelmed that it wasn’t even a conscience thought to do it. I just did, and I immediately felt better. And the pain from doing it last night is seeming to keep me numb today. I just broke down last night and I was crying, like chest heaving, snot crying, because I couldn’t fall asleep. I need help, I’m tired of trying to deal with this on my own. I am also a recovering drug addict, and I feel like I relapsed back to self harm and I don’t want to do that anymore.

  18. what if the patient does not want to go the doctor because of the fear of facing a person and getting judged?

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