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In Search of Gentleness

I look outside onto the ice covered streets.  I can almost feel the harsh air brushing my cheeks.  I feel my feet slip in the snow, and I seek out gentleness.

I turn on the news and I see hatred and violence.  I hear all the yelling and pick up on almost zero listening.  I see the effects of a broken world screaming forth from my screen, and I long for gentleness.

And I look inside, and I feel the bruises, and I see the tentative scabs barely holding on.  I feel the world rushing at me and sense very little within myself to ward it off, and my soul absolutely craves gentleness.

I always approached the world head on.  I would leap with abandon, run in with eyes closed, insist on being a part of the fire.

I fought and I protected and I refused to cower in fear.

And now all I want is a cup of chamomile tea, soft lighting, a warm blanket, and some yarn.

I close my eyes, and I dream of soft landings, of open arms, of quiet words.  I dream of listening and receiving and banishing the need to the heard.

I can’t create peace, and so instead, I seek gentleness.

Every year, I choose a word to guide me.  A mantra of sorts.  Something to direct me when I feel directionless.

And for 2016, I choose gentleness.  Both toward myself and toward the world.  Because when we don’t know exactly where to turn, gentleness usually won’t guide us astray.

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In Search of Gentleness

Amanda Knapp

Amanda Knapp is a mother, wife, writer, former writing teacher, and lover of the written word. She writes for Psych Central, Mothering, Catholic 365, and her own blog, .

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APA Reference
Knapp, A. (2015). In Search of Gentleness. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 15, 2020, from


Last updated: 29 Dec 2015
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