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Blame

How to Make Changes in the New Year

When we find the causes of our problems, we don't find "sick" inner parts; we find old assumptions, old beliefs, old expectations, old commitments, or old goals that we now see as limited. We feel excited about finally finding the inner sources of our problems, and we want to change these old parts of ourselves. The result of self-exploration is not horror at what we find, but relief that it is not nearly as bad as we feared--and peace at discovering the truth.



Anger

Freeing Yourself from a Dsyfunctional Family

Ann came from a wealthy family in the suburbs. Behind the walls of her expensive home, her stock broker father was an abusive drunk. Her mother was a submissive victim. Her older brother was a sadist and her younger brother was a psychopath.

As a child, Ann used her innate intelligence to cope with her dysfunctional loved ones as best she could. She didn’t rebel or make waves. She withdrew to avoid provoking their painful behavior. When she was out of their sight, they couldn’t torment her. But, her brothers would break into her room to terrorize her in the middle of the night. When she complained to mom, she said, “They’re your brothers. They love you.” Ann’s mother could not see her pain. She was lost in her own.