4 thoughts on “The Keys to Managing Anger

  • December 3, 2019 at 9:42 am

    Do women not need help with their anger too? Have been Raised by an outright angry man and a passive aggressive woman, I find it difficult that a book would be written solely for the ‘angry man’, implying that women don’t get angry or need help with their anger….

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  • December 4, 2019 at 1:36 pm

    This article appears to be targeted to men. Are there not women who are angry? !!!

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    • December 4, 2019 at 4:25 pm

      Men and women respond differently to fear signals coming from the amygdala. When the amygdala fires a fear signal, a “fight or flight” reaction is triggered. We have now learned that women’s responses are different from men’s due to their distinct biological makeup. Women’s hormones are dominated by estrogen and based on the evolution of their brains, it tells them the way to safety is to gather in a group. Women have learned that they can reduce stress and promote a feeling of safety by connecting. This difference, combined with the fact that women have less testosterone and more estrogen flowing through their brains, enables women to look for solutions to conflict, even if it means they might make more sacrifices to resolve the situation. Women tend to look for ways to compromise and serve the needs of others, even at their own expense. To show how this social connection is hardwired, researchers found that baby girls make more eye contact and focus on faces more frequently in the first three months of life, compared to boys. The boys moved their gaze around the room to investigate their environment and rarely glanced at their mothers. It is believed that women’s ability to read faces enabled them not only to interpret what others needed, but also enabled them to anticipate others behavior, so they could protect themselves and their children. Protection was essential: if women could band together with other women, they would be in a better position to protect their children and fend off any attacks. Women’s brains are programmed to keep social harmony.

      Men on the other hand, are programmed to compete in order to reproduce and pass on their genes. The hunter-gatherer male reality demanded aggression and rules that fostered hierarchy, competition, and dominance. The testosterone drive is part of that. While females also had to compete, sometimes for mates and sometimes for food, their primary goals were social support, childcare, and child protection. Testosterone flooding the brain of has the opposite effect as estrogen: social withdrawal and the desire to be left alone. From a biological stance, men are not interested in conversation because testosterone decreases their desire to socialize except in pursuit of sex or competition. Men’s hormones tell them that dominance and control are the more efficient way to promote safety. Men are hardwired to get stressed around challenges to their independence and authority. They have a biological drive to seek respect and find their place in the pecking order through dominance and aggression. Moreover the male amygdala has testosterone receptors that heighten these responses, providing a biological reason for why men are more prone to displays of anger and quickly escalate situations into conflict. They don’t look for social connection in same way women do.

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  • December 18, 2019 at 12:20 pm

    Evolutionary psych is so stupid overall. Women kill out of anger. Quit with the diminishing into ridiculous stereotypes.

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