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Relationship Doubts: Understanding Your Partner

The more aligned a couple is on certain crucial dimensions, the better off they will be in the long term.

Below are questions that can help to start thinking about how compatible a couple is:
• Do we expect our partner to tell us the amount of money spent on a shopping spree or an outing with friends?
• Does flirting constitute infidelity?
• How much free time spent away from one another is acceptable?
• Do we expect our partner to share all their secrets with us?
• Are friends of the opposite sex acceptable to us and at what level of intensity?
• Is there a difference between a “white lie” and dishonesty?
• Do we feel comfortable being vulnerable with our partner?
• When do we feel pushed away from our partner?
• When do we feel that making love with our partner is a way to connect and not just a physical exercise?
• Do we feel our levels of desire are similar?
• Can we readily express our needs comfortably and safely?
• What are our expectations of a successful partner?
• What sacrifices regarding our home, finances, careers or leisure activities are you willing to make for our partner?
• What values do we model?
• What family traditions do we want to carry on and what new ones do we want to create?
• What do we want our savings plan look like?
• How do we determine what our will be?
• Will one partner have more financial control than the other?
• What are our spending priorities?
• How do we create value besides earning income?

Discuss the following tasks and who is expected to be the lead partner and/or how would they be shared:
• Parenting
• Producing revenue; does one person’s career take precedence over the others
• Food Preparation
• Cleaning
• Financial issues; paying bills, creating a budget
• Laundry
• Home maintenance

Discuss the following hypothetical decisions.
• Accepting a work promotion vs. living in a less desirable geographic location
• Quitting a job due to dissatisfaction vs. staying for financial security
• Taking a walk together vs. going on a shopping trip
• Going on a recreational trip vs. going to visit family
• Paying for our child’s education vs. taking a second job
• Having a night out with friends vs. a night with just the two of us
• Visiting a sentimental places vs. visiting a new location
• Adhering to a budget vs. impulse spending
• Cuddling for the night vs. making love
• Watching TV vs. doing a project around the house
• Spending the holidays with one side of the family vs. the other side

Relationship Doubts: Understanding Your Partner


Aaron Karmin


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APA Reference
Karmin, A. (2019). Relationship Doubts: Understanding Your Partner. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 22, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/anger/2019/06/relationship-doubts-understanding-your-partner/

 

Last updated: 3 Jun 2019
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.