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Stop Taking it Personal

Opinions change, sometimes from minute to minute, day to day.

You don’t really know what is best and you have no standing on telling others how things ought or should be. Your views on right or wrong speak to your taste and you can’t argue taste. Is red a better color then blue? Is steak better than chicken? These are all preferences.

A preference implies a choice and we all have choices in how to respond to differences in taste. Below are some steps you can take to stop taking others’ choices and acts personally:

– Remember it’s not about you – it’s about them. Heal your wounds. Remind yourself that you do many things well, that you are an imperfect human and allowed to make mistakes. You will never be superior or inferior, you will always be an equal member of humanity. This internal talk can help take some of the misery out of the experience.

– Don’t let others get to you. Refuse to get overly responsive to the negative feelings and provocations of others.

– Don’t be self-focused. If you do focus on yourself, you’ll likely dwell on your shortcomings. Instead, think about your goals and what steps you need to get there.

– Stop the negative self-talk. Counter self-defeating self-talk with truth talk: “You can be your own worst enemy, so give yourself a break.

– Don’t worry about looking stupid. If you are asked a question and you don’t know the answer, you can simply say, “I need to think about that and get back to you later.”

– Learn to be patient. Don’t be impulsive or react to a situation without giving yourself time to cool off. Try simple deep breathing or declare time out.

– Don’t be quick to blame. Recognize that other people have their ups and downs.

– Think about others. Enter social interactions with this thought of making the experience itself enjoyable. Ask yourself, “What can I do to feel more comfortable?”

Stop Taking it Personal

Aaron Karmin

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APA Reference
Karmin, A. (2016). Stop Taking it Personal. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 5, 2020, from


Last updated: 6 Nov 2016
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