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I believe in God even though I have never physically met Him. I have seen enough evidence of God to bolster my faith. I have far more faith in the supernatural than I do in coincidence. The things many people see as stuff that “just happens” fit too closely with the details of my life and background for me to write them off as random happenings. I also believe in healing, but I believe in it because I have seen it happen with my own eyes, in my life, and in the lives of others.

I believe that God could reach down right now and take my bipolar disorder away, if He wanted to. I don’t think that’s over-reaching. If I believe God created the universe, then it would be foolish of me not to believe He could take away this disease. I believe that if Jesus Christ walked into the room right now, I wouldn’t even have to ask for healing. I could reach out and touch Him and be done with this nonsense. There are denominations out there that don’t believe in modern-day miracles. According to their theology, all the miracles happened during Bible times and we’re on our own now. I respectfully disagree. I’ve seen God do far too much to ascribe to that belief system.

One little question, though: if God took my mental illness away, how would I know it? Would I know it? You can physically prove that someone has been cured of cancer. You wouldn’t be able to miss it if someone miraculously grew back a leg they had amputated (I’m pretty sure that has never happened.) Unfortunately, the health care system isn’t set up for people to have regular brain scans to detect mental illness, so there is no physical proof of healing. To make matters worse, it’s not uncommon for people with bipolar disorder to think they’ve been cured/healed, go off their medication, only to fall apart once again. I’ve seen it happen – and sometimes it takes those people a long time to realize they’re still sick. They can get stuck in denial, or pride. I don’t want to fall into that category…again.

God has been sustaining me through a combination of Effexor, lithium, and Seroquel. I realize that these drugs can have serious side effects and even cause other diseases, but they have allowed me to have a life… a good, usually sane one (there’s no such thing as perfect) in which I can work, have a happy marriage, and maintain close friendships. All good things come from Him, and He has given me many good things to celebrate. I know what it’s like to be sick, and to fantasize about pointing your car right at that oncoming tree to just end all of the sadness and mental and spiritual confusion. I’m grace on legs.

But, man, I certainly wouldn’t protest if God decided He just wanted to take this away. I can only trust that if He did, I’d know it and I’d believe it just like I believe the sun will rise every morning. And there would be no doubt. No question. And it would be evident to others, too.

I can only hope.

What are your thoughts on the topic? I’m genuinely interested. Drop me a comment. I’d really like to hear your take on things.

Julie Fidler
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