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Brett Kavanaugh’s Saga: What Lessons to Your Kids about Youthful Words & Deeds?

I am an American. (Note: I am not an “African-American.” I am an American—a Black American.) And despite being amidst writing a book proposal about today’s dysfunctional healthcare system, as an American, I watched practically all of the Sept. 27, 2018 testimony given by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and Judge Brett Kavanaugh. It was riveting history in the making. It was like watching the OJ “white Bronco chase,” or the Waco standoff. I had to watch; millions of Americans did, too.

The Accusations. The strong denials. Kavanaugh’s love of beer (my God, does he love beer!) His yearbook postings.

I don’t know Mr. Kavanaugh; and I’m not saying I endorse or oppose his nomination, or acceptance to sit on the Supreme Court. I’m not offering my position on that decision. This is NOT a political post.

I am, however, intrigued how something that happened 35 years ago, when 17 years old, can potentially derail someone’s adult life and career. I have a saying: “…and in that moment…”

It is true: “boys will be boys.” Imagine: A 17 year old boy. A 17 year old White boy (if not all, but yes, many or most). Do they drink beer? Act stupid? Try to see if their pelvic anatomy has early signs of ‘life’? Sure they do.

Do young girls go to parties they know they should not attend, and perhaps  do things they shouldn’t? Yes. Do they also drink beer, smoke pot; or try to get kissed by a cute guy?

I never did any drugs and I’ve never smoked a joint. I don’t drink beer; obviously Kavanaugh loves it. Does it appear that he got drunk at parties? It seems so.

All of this makes me wonder…What do parents tell their children? What do you tell your 17 year old boy in high school? What do you tell them about what they post in their yearbook? Published comments might be made in jest; but will those comments come back and haunt them 35 years later when up for a Supreme Court nomination, or in the running to be a CEO at a major corporation? What about young ladies? What stupid things do young high school girls do? Should those antics deny them a rise up the corporate ladder, or when trying to break through the glass ceiling? [I looked at my yearbook. My most foolish entry concerned my school girl crush on Walt Frazier of the NY Knicks. I was a Walt Frazier groupie. “Dancing Harry” used to slip a girlfriend and me into a place called Harry M’s; it was where the players went after the game. I felt special. I have three entries about going to games to see “Clyde.”]

Admittedly, my emotions about this Blasey-Ford/Kavanaugh situation are mixed.

For one, I’m a woman. I realize that women get violated. We get raped and accosted. We usually don’t report it; or if so, not right away.

Secondly, I’m an obstetrician-gynecologist—an “ob-gyn.” A women’s health specialist and surgeon. I’ve seen rape victims; their fear and tears. I’ve examined them. I’ve done rape exams, with “rape kits,” and later testified at depositions and a few trials about my clinical findings. Unfortunately rape, molestation and unwanted groping happens to women.

Third, I admit that  in this modern day we’re in, that I’m personally tired of all the male-bashing; and that every charge brought by a woman against a man ‘just has to be the truth.” It may not be. Women can lie just as men can. But at almost every turn, men are getting bashed. They can be jerks sometimes (lovingly said); but we need men. Yes, we do. They are the other half of the human biology.

We are made as man and woman; that is the biology, despite that being an inconvenient truth for many in today’s society who think they choose their gender and sex. A few genetic anomalies occur—such as ambiguous genitalia, or hermaphrodites—but we are man and woman. Humanity continues with a male sperm and a female’s egg. It’s just a fact. Given that, men and women need to get along; and sexual desires are natural. Abuse however, isn’t, and should not be tolerated.

But is society going to destroy a man’s life and career because when he was 17, he got drunk at a party and tried to ‘cop a feel’? Are we going to persecute a grown man for his teenage antics?

If he is a serial molester in his adult life, that’s one thing. But if every 17 year old boy is going to be denied any job in his adult life because of his foolish teenage antics… hmm.

To force oneself on anyone is, of course, wrong. But let’s say Kavanaugh got Blasey Ford in a room and touched her a bit. Is he, now, to be robbed of his professional name and career advancement for something that happened 35 years ago?

Many criticized Kavanaugh for his temperament during testimony before the Senate. People criticized him for being angry, and also for his tears. But…in fighting for your name and career, wouldn’t you be a bit emotional? Wouldn’t you strongly defend yourself and your family? Would such be his temperament on the Supreme Court? It seems looking at his conduct during his past judicial appearances–in his conduct on the bench–would be the measuring stick to determine that.

Again, I’m not offering any political positioning about whether Kavanaugh should or should not sit on the Supreme Court. I do feel that, in July, Sen. Feinstein should have brought news of the accusations against Judge Kavanaugh to her fellow members of the committee, and addressed them with the judge when she met with him. This was most unfair to both Ford and Kavanaugh. Also, President Trump’s comments October 2, 2018, mocking Dr. Blasey Ford, were most appalling and inappropriate. He should stop spewing harsh, insensitive comments about such a delicate, sensitive matter.

The FBI is investigating the charges; I hope they do a good job. I believe they will. I support our law enforcement agencies (FBI, CIA, DOJ).

I write to simply explore the psychology of what this moment in time tells us. What lessons do we as a society learn? We—the citizens of the USA—are in a very concerning place. Hard lines are drawn, and with that, sometimes reasoning goes out the window. Let us reason together.

So to parents, I ask, what are you telling your children about this sad and stressful situation, regarding how childhood activities can, or may, come back to haunt them?

God bless; and God bless America.

Copyright © 2018 Dr. Melody T. McCloud. All rights reserved. Feel free to share this post on your social network pages, with author credit and link to this page. Bitly: http://bit.ly/2DSMP0T  Tw: @DrMelodyMcCloud

Brett Kavanaugh’s Saga: What Lessons to Your Kids about Youthful Words & Deeds?

Melody T. McCloud, MD

Dr. Melody T. McCloud is a trailblazing obstetrician/gynecologist, author, public speaker and media contributor. She has received many awards including the "Health-Care Heroes ‘Physician’ Award” per the Atlanta Business Chronicle, and is also recognized as one of the “25 Most Influential Doctors in Atlanta." Dr. McCloud has been interviewed on CNN, Headline News, network affiliates, TBN, the Tom Joyner Morning Show; and her writings or comments have been printed in USA Today, Parade, Essence, Family Circle, Health, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and more. She hosts a health blog at Psychology Today and, upon invitation, speaks nationwide to many organizations. She is a member of the Atlanta Press Club and many leadership organizations.


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APA Reference
McCloud, M. (2018). Brett Kavanaugh’s Saga: What Lessons to Your Kids about Youthful Words & Deeds?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 13, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/all-things/2018/10/brett-kavanaughs-saga-what-lessons-to-your-kids-about-youthful-words-deeds/

 

Last updated: 4 Oct 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 4 Oct 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.