Comments on
How to Trust People Again


DSC02374Hypervigilance is one of the hallmark symptoms of trauma. It can look many different ways: military veterans who dive for cover when a car backfires, people who startle easily and always feel on edge,

5 thoughts on “How to Trust People Again

  • June 18, 2014 at 7:48 pm

    This is very helpful as a C-PTSDer! I am in a therapy group now targeting mindfulness and emotional regulation.

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  • June 21, 2014 at 5:15 pm

    This was very helpful for me in seeing how trauma effects the foster children I serve. Particularly with the challenges they face with trust. Your example of the “texting” is something I see often: no answer, or a slow reply is interpreted as betrayal or abandonment – and the response is often disproportionate anger, even rage. Thanks this understanding helps.

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    • June 21, 2014 at 5:27 pm

      You’re so welcome. I’m so glad that this is helpful. Your understanding is key to their ability to attach to you.

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  • November 29, 2014 at 9:08 am

    My last church went after me with a vengeance, particular certain powerful people like the Treasurer and the Staff Committee chair (who had been a close friend), when we found we had to rework our budget in March. I was the only employee put on the chopping block, despite being a menial worker with a very small salary. Of all the staff, I was the only one who depended on the salary for essential living expenses. They knew this, and knew I was also disabled. After 2 months of harassment, during which I became openly suicidal, the staff committee had me present to them all the reasons I shouldn’t be laid off. Much of this was very personal stuff. They voted to reduce my salary instead of laying me off. Because they only went after me, with my multiple disabilities (and sterling 4.5 years of work), they violated a federal law, the Americans with Disabilities Act. Not even the Bishop cared. I have moved away to a city, but find myself very wary of my fellow Christians, very bitter, sad, and angry. I am in Pastoral Care Counseling now. I lost dozens of friends and my trust in church and people. I’m finally at the stage that I can recognize this, but sometimes have to remove myself from situations that hurt, to the point of walking out of a service. The chance to think things over away from the source of trauma is helpful to me. I am also finally realizing that what I experience NOW is normal human relations. I am now in a healthy church. Thank you for the above template of steps one can take.

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