I have begun a new series called 10 Things I Wish People Knew About Adoption. This is a place for adoptees to share their thoughts and perspectives in a easier list format. Delighted to have, Alison, our first adoptee, sharing her thoughts with us today.
1. Adoption is like another atom within an adoptee. It influences everything and touches your very core. It is another integral part of our very being and part of our unknown DNA.
2. Adoptees start off as adopted children, but like everyone else, we grow up and then become adopted adults or adults who were adopted as children. We do not remain children!
3. We are too often denied our information by people in positions of power, who do not know the negative impact their actions have on a person and their family.
4. Adoption is negatively used as the butt of a joke or a twist in a story or an unnecessary addition to a plot or a threat to a bold child or spewed out as a derogatory term.
5. Nobody EXCEPT an adoptee knows the true impact of being adopted or how it feels, not an adoptive parent, birth parent, half-sibling, therapist or an agency representative! NOBODY! We need people to listen, we do not need unexperienced or biased opinions!
6. Wondering if we were bought is a genuine concern. Some adoptees have invoices or receipts detailing the money spent by their adoptive parents, to add them to their family!
7 Complete strangers who have helped many adoptees in their search for background information are people who have no connection, but came to our aid and are heros to us.
8. Not all birth parents had their babies ripped from their loving arms. Some birth mothers wanted someone else to take their problem, take care of their problem…their child. These biological parents do not want to be found by or reunited with their now adult child.
9. Secrets and lies destroy lives! Oblivious half-siblings should be told about secret siblings. Birth parents need to take responsibility, answer questions, face the truth and the reality of the situation and be adult re adoption! The truth will eventually come out, anyway!
10. Adoption by its very nature is extremely complex. It has pros and cons, advantages and disadvantages and can be both good and bad. To be either 100% anti-adoption or pro-adoption, is to be blinkered to the negatives and positives that exist simultaneously within adoption.
If you’d like to share your own, Ten Things I Wish People Knew About Adoption get in touch – [email protected]