3 thoughts on “Harnessing the Positive Power of Anger

  • June 9, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    I think that the examples you provided (excercise, painting, etc) Are outlets for the energy produced by anger but they do nothing to actually express the anger or to deal with it. Without facing the anger, accepting it, examining and dealing with it then it will be nothing but a destructive force. And sometimes you do have to allow your anger to hurt people, maybe not physically but sometimes they need to understand how their actions affected you and that may hurt.

    You are making progressing but like so many people you are stuck in this “do no harm” nonsense. It’s okay to show you are angry, sometimes okay to yell and scream, and sometimes it’s even ok to tell someone they are being an xxxhole. They will survive and your little outburst is not likely to do permanent damage but if you don’t deal with it when it does surface then that is when it is likely to become dangerous.

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  • June 11, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    When I first got into therapy, a good twenty years ago, I “heard” that expressing your anger was the best way to deal with anger. It gave me license to deal with others harshly, for the good of the situation. Being brutally honest was important to me so I would use that anchor to discipline my children, and talk to others in an unconcerned way. Now I’ve learned to use tact, and my truth is not everyones truth. I have learned to talk from my own perspective and from my experience.
    As much as I feel sometimes in control of my anger
    and release it in a healthy way, I still have grandiose feelings of guilt… and am still learning how to incorporate by spirituality to learn more about things like self pity and and how most of my anger is related to fear. Here’s an example: my DIL almost died on the delivery table during childbirth.. and I was her coach I reveled in anger for days( taking it out on every nurse, dr and person, that I came in contact with) before finally coming to the realization, while talking to my son who wanted to sue the hospital, that life does not owe us a favor, the favor was granted in that she lived, the baby is perfect and she is okay!!! I was just fearful that she would be taken away. Something like that is out of your control, and we need to turn it over to God.
    Yes, in a calm, responsible way I do need to talk to personel about things that happened, but acting like a lunatic isn’t going to get you too far.
    thanks,

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    • June 14, 2010 at 10:32 am

      Dottie,
      I love that example and your wonderful insight. And there is a fine line in releasing anger – when is it abusive and when is it ok? It has inspired me to write something so thank you so much for your feedback.

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