Strategies for trust and ADHD
I find because of my ADHD I am often impulsive, change my mind, and moving from one project to another. It makes it challenging for others to trust me but I have found effective strategies – as those that know me well will say I am the most honest person that they know. So how do I manage? It may take some work but I do have some ideas.
I have found a number of things to be extremely effective in helping secure follow-through on my end. Things that I shared with others, and let them know would be helpful if they implemented on their end. In the end, we were both happy.
What are they?
It is easy when I don’t have a lot going on. But when I do, the following tips have really helped ensure success for my follow-through:
- Ask people to clearly communicate goals / objectives to you.
- Create a budget — any budget — and monitor it.
- Have weekly meetings / progress so you stay on track (this can be with anyone).
- Create a ‘scope’ and set boundaries.
- When asking for a commitment, ask for a week to think about it (or ask them to offer it).
- Don’t always trust the first thing out of my mouth — and try to keep the first thing out of your mouth inside your mouth until you are sure!
- If something is really important to you, ask me to NOT respond right away and let me think about it. This can save a lot of trouble from #6.
- Encourage me to follow through on my projects, finishing one thing before I start another — and don’t talk about extra projects until I do.
- Hold me accountable for what I do / don’t do and gently show me how it does or does not align.
- Remind me about what is important in life — relationships I have with others — and why I need to continue to build on them.
These can actually apply to any relationship / situation. Even scope — what is the scope of a romantic relationship? Are we working together? Do we include each other in everything we do with friends? etc. etc.
There is a great article on Oprah about setting boundaries; it can help immensely if you have trouble in this area. I think people with ADHD have a particularly challenging time with integrity, but it can definitely be done we just have to be aware of what helps / what prohibits our ability to have it. And once we master that, we have a real chance at success.
What do you find helpful in relationships that allow you to be better in follow-through?
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Goetzke, K. (2010). Strategies for trust and ADHD. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 16, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd/2010/03/can-you-trust-someone-with-adhd/