11 thoughts on “He Said / She Said: Examining the ADHD Life – Does ADHD Mean You’re Always Saying, “I’m Sorry”? Part I

  • September 20, 2010 at 8:36 am

    Another issue is that the constant apologizing for ADHD related stuff and the resultant lowered self esteem sets us up to take the fall if we can be blamed in any way for things that are just unfortunate situations and no-ones actual fault. There’s a vicious circle for ya.

    Reply
  • September 20, 2010 at 9:32 am

    What did Popeye say? “I Yam What I Yam, and That’s All that I Yam…I’m Popeye, the Sailor Man”. Popeye had ADHD and Wimpy the Inattentive Type.

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  • September 20, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    I don’t think Popeye apologized. He worked with what he was and the Best that he could Be. Use tactics which work for you and enlighten others.

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    • September 20, 2010 at 1:08 pm

      Excellent advice!
      And I might add: spinach. LOTS of spinach! 😉
      Z.

      Reply
  • September 20, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    Spinach contains extremely High Levels of Tryptophan which has been used to tread ADD. It helps the production o Dopamine in the brain….Overall helps sleep, being restful and sense of well being. Is also in Turkey, Tuna Eggs. Seaweed and Soy Products.

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    • September 20, 2010 at 2:52 pm

      Ya.
      I knew that.
      (Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Just joshin’ THANK YOU for the info.!)

      Reply
  • September 21, 2010 at 10:51 am

    Zoe and Jeff

    If a person with or without AD/HA inconveniences another person then an “I’m sorry is probably in order and may infact lead to reduced tension.

    I get what you both are saying that constant saying I’m sorry for what ever my ADHD behavior was can cause lowered self esteem.

    Couldn’t continuously saying I’m sorry possibly also lead to awareness of the problem,and increased motivation to stick to a treatment of what ever works for the individual?

    I’m just saying

    Tom

    Reply
    • September 21, 2010 at 12:07 pm

      Tom,
      I think you’re onto something here, and I agree. Noticing that I was constantly apologizing for the same things, over and over, even though they were things I tried not to do (lateness, etc.), was definitely helpful in helping me to identify a pattern. Unfortunately, I tried therapy and lots of other stuff, none of which helped me to address the issues, and only years after I was aware of my repeating patterns did I finally get diagnosed. And guess what? In four short years, most if not all of the things I was saying “I’m sorry” for have magically disappeared! And the rest have been reduced to only mildly and occasionally problematic. Go figure, eh?

      (Of course I don’t mean it was magical; it was anything but, it just felt like magic because the diagnosis and especially the AWARENESS and EDUCATION around adult ADHD was what helped so much in understanding what was going on and more importantly, why. Then, I took a lot different steps (my most recent being self-coaching), and voila! The “magic” of escaping old patterns began to unfold.

      btw – I’m sorry my answer took so long…
      hee hee hee…
      Z.

      Reply
  • September 21, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    Zoe

    Thanks for your thoughtful response.

    Like most things in life “its more complicated”

    and with AD/HD related issues there are layers of complexity

    Thanks again

    Tom

    Reply
  • September 22, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    Being in a meaningful relationship is a partnership based on love and trust. I was fortunate enough to find someone that accepted me “as is”, but I wanted to be the best I could be for him and our relationship. Unfortunately, living with ADHD (diagnosed only recently) put me in a place of offering up many apologies. He never expected them, but I felt obligated. That guilt, and being a “screw up” can sabotage a wonderful thing. I wish everyone in my shoes had a partner like mine and could experience having a partner that never makes you feel inferior.
    Now that I know why I am this way I have begun to put a plan together to improve my flaws. I don’t expect to be perfect, but I now feel less inclined to consider myself a “screw up”. My partner already sees a difference in me with just knowing the beast in me has a name, it is ADHD!

    Reply
    • September 23, 2010 at 11:39 am

      Hi Recoverydefender.
      Wonderful comment. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
      Take care,
      Zoë

      Reply
 

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