20 thoughts on “Flat or Round? You Be the Judge!

  • June 24, 2010 at 12:31 pm


    Great response, Zoe!
    And please, keep it coming! It matters little to me if Jessica – or a thousand Jessica’s think my ADHD is all in my head. I’m learning to cope; I’m learning to organize; I’m learning to deal (somewhat) effectively for the first time in 54 years! And I’ve learned a very long time ago that some people do not let the *facts* get in the way of their *opinions.* ;>)


    • June 24, 2010 at 12:44 pm

      Zena, Warrior Princess, move over for Zoë, and Sunflower, and Jeff, and, and, and…!

  • June 24, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    Oh, darn! The applause gif didn’t come up! LOL! It was for you, though, Zoe! As I said, great job, and worthy of applause!!!


    • June 24, 2010 at 12:40 pm

      *sigh* Thanks, Sunflower. I’m so sorry I had to do it. But I had to do it. For all of us.

      I’m amazed at how reined-in I was, considering I was totally exhausted (after working way too many hours on other blog posts), but really, I honestly have compassion for this person. What the hell was she doing reading an ADHD blog, anyway? We can only surmise… I hope she gets some help & compassion…

  • June 24, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    “The best mysteries are the ones whose answers lie in front of us, in plain sight. The best solutions are those moments when all of a sudden we realize what we’ve known all along.” ~Hypnotizing Maria

    • June 24, 2010 at 1:57 pm

      I couldn’t have said it better. Thanks for sending that in, Tenosevin.

  • June 24, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    J your Blog Manager here…

    When people say “it’s all in your head,” couldn’t we turn around and claim that EVERYTHING is all in our heads?

    I’ve never understood that argument. Yes, it’s all in our heads. Everything is. That doesn’t change the fact that we need help for it. Or strive to better ourselves from it. Or even need medication to help heal it.

    Everything is in our heads, people! 🙂

    • June 24, 2010 at 1:59 pm

      Hi J!
      Thanks for diving into the fray…you’re a brave woman! As for my medication “healing” me, I really don’t expect that, but it’s been a pretty effective tourniquet to staunch the flow of embarrassing blurts, etc.! And for that, I’m grateful. The healing may never come, but if I can get this puppy into remission, good enough, eh? Once in a while, I think I’m actually there..

  • June 24, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    Love your posts.
    Reading this I felt I should add something.
    You attract what you think about. “Well I believe” So let’s say you decided to change your thoughts. And said there is “No ADHD and I don’t have it” And than once you awaken to the thought that you are fine and see that you are who you are, everything changes. Because you are attracting what you do want in life. We can change our brains. We can change anything about us. If that’s what you want. All you have to do is focus on what you want not what you don’t want. After all you can teach an old dog new tricks. You just have to keep at it. So if you feel there is ADHD keep attracting it. For me I love excepting my self more and more each day, and as I do positive change happens every moment I see what I want in life.

    First step in letting go of something is to forget about. Next watch your thought. We all have the power to see and listen to what we say and do. If you think it’s wrong change it. If not keep living your dream.

    I don’t really go for all these labels and if I need a label to live by the only one I like is I’m love.

    I’m loven all life. All my fears of being my divine self , I’m letting go of now. I am beautiful.

    Keep smiling all you beautiful souls.

    Create the love and peace that you are.

    Love and light.


    • June 24, 2010 at 7:21 pm

      Thanks for writing, Jason. In part, I agree: insofar as, as I was growing up, I was led to believe some very negative things about myself, starting from a very young age, in my own home. Whether I believe I have ADHD or not, these are still the beliefs I’m trying to undo. Acknowledging the label, for me, has helped with that. I do believe that some day, I too will transcend this label, just like I’ve all but forgotten about the label “adopted” – but that, too, was a long journey. I’m glad you’re so happy with your life!
      Stay happy!

  • June 25, 2010 at 6:40 am


    While your sentiment is admirable and there is much to be said for your field of dreams theory (“You attract what you think about”) nonetheless, I believe you are overlooking three important factors. First, you don’t seem to take into account that the brain does not possess infinite plasticity. There are always limitations, points beyond which the brain cannot change. While it may be true that some people never push themselves to those limits, nonetheless, logic dictates that limits exist. We are not omnipotent gods and we cannot circumvent physics. Second, one can think happy thoughts all one wants but thoughts cannot turn into reality without the social structure that will allow it to become a reality. You can dream of wealth but if the opportunities never arise, it will remain a dream. Finally, in the case of the late diagnosed ADHDers, you will find that many of these ADHDers always had happy thoughts, always “clicked their heels” and yet, after 20 or 30 or more years, they still never accomplished what they set out to do. Therefore, if all one needed to do was “think it” then why didn’t these ADHDers accomplish what was dreamed? Are we to conclude that they did not think hard enough? That they did not spend enough years thinking and visualizing? Remember, these are people who did not possess the label of ADHD for most of their lives so labeling theory doesn’t apply to them. Nonetheless, they still listened to Tony Robbins or Guy Kawasaki, they were extraordinarily hopeful about the future, they worked extraordinarily hard for it, yet something, somehow, was not quite working. They kept hitting a limit. HOWEVER, many who ARE late diagnosed FINALLY know what they are up against and FINALLY know what the challenges are and FINALLY know what to do about it. You cannot fight an enemy unless you know the enemy’s name. It must have a label. It must be defined.

    Bottom line is that life is extraordinarily complex. It’s not a simple straight line from thought to reality. This old dog (me!) has certainly learned many new tricks and, yes, I do think happy thoughts and it has had a beneficial effect on my life. However, I cannot circumvent context. For example, the world economy is currently in a major depression (though we shun using such a label). That economy creates an external reality that I cannot change. Thinking happy thoughts obscures the reality of the situation. If I don’t know what I’m really up against – no matter how many nice thoughts I have – how will I survive? How will I solve whatever problems are in need of solving? Therein lies the danger of over emphasizing the “dream it and it will happen” type of philosophy. I will admit that many people (and I have certainly done it) give up too quickly when they hit the resistance of reality. However, to put all one’s weight on the happy thoughts, to believe, as you wrote, that “We can change anything about us,” is to discount the role of context, of social and physical reality and, instead, to substitute ideology for a true theory of life and change.

    • June 25, 2010 at 7:53 am

      Jason & Jeff and everyone else who’s written…it looks like this post has touched a nerve!

      I’m sincerely pleased that we’re accruing quite a broad spectrum of opinion here. I think it’s important to hear as many views as possible, even though for an ADHDer like me, it makes my head spin trying to weigh them all in and see where I land. However, until our eyes are open to the options, the nuances of the thing, how can we find out how we feel ourselves? And, by logical extention, about where we feel we need to go next on this journey?

      SO – a great big thank you to all of you for weighing in on this debate, and especially a thank you to Jessica, who kicked off the whole thing in the first place!

      In Buddhism there is a philosophy that your greatest adversary is your greatest teacher. If you’re open to examining yourself, your life, and the world around you, this maxim (I’ve found) not only proves true, but extremely helpful in turning a challenging, difficult, or even painful situation into an opportunity…and also allows you to think compassionately towards those who challenge you. They are, after all, your greatest teacher!

      Peace, everybody!

  • June 25, 2010 at 9:25 am


    Thank you! Having finally been diagnosed at age 52, I can tell you that this has been precisely my experience. All the more so because of the way my ADHD contributed to my life long struggle with obesity. We now know the prevelance of ADHD among obese people ranges from 24% to 42% – far higher tham the 4.4% estimate for the general population.

    Positive thinking can be a good tool – just as negative thinking can be self defeating. But its over-application can be very destructive – especially so for people with undiagnosed ADHD.

    I highly recommend Barbara Ehrenreich’s book Bright-Sided. Barbara documents her struggle with breast cancer and the limits of positive thinking.

  • June 25, 2010 at 12:24 pm


    Thanks so much for letting me know that I hit the right chords! And I have Barbara’s book right next to me. Hope to get to it soon.


  • June 25, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    Well, the first think my adult ADD self noted was Jessica’s poor use of language, i.e., “your” rather than the correct “you’re,” “yourself” rather than the correct “yourselves,” etc. However, that could just be in my head; perhaps grammar has changed significantly since Jessica attended school (assuming that she did, indeed, attend school). When I try to juggle my bipolar disorder with my adult ADD (all in my head, of course) I just pull harder at those darned bootstraps… hasn’t worked thus far, but I’m gonna (sic) keep on trying, just for you, Jessica ~

    • June 25, 2010 at 6:49 pm

      *sigh* This certainly IS an emotional one, isn’t it? I hope everyone will read today’s Pet Peeve and take it to heart (just posted moments ago, it was a tough one for me to write).

      I know a lot of us have been stirred up by this, including me (again, see today’s post, Pet Peeve #16), but I’m going to encourage everyone to get back on track and tend to their own gardens…or whatever the expression is…’nuff said.


  • June 29, 2010 at 4:34 am

    Thank you Jeff. I took to heart what you said. I’m not to sure we know what the true meaning of life is. I know for me it’s centred around being in love with you and all. “We all,l I think have been in love” We know that feeling of just wanted to be with them. Let we beat our selfs up . For me Looking at the beauty of everything in front of me in this moment is wonderful. I feel my love grow for my self and all. For me to see people Fretting about any label in there life is hard. I just want people to see there true light. Love them self. For me it’s about letting go of the past and putting your self in your happy place now. This moment is all we ever have. When I was a child I was told I was slow. Had this and that. I let go and taught my self how to read and write. Point is when you centre your self around your true self , you can do and be anything. Your beautiful. Look at a flower and you will see your true divine self. Centre your divine moments your beauty, letting go of your pain, So why fret about something that is a label now. Not the past. You know this label in this moment so change what’s in the present moment that is bothering you. If can be as simple as looking at tree and seeing your light shine back at you. When you feel your speeding up and no doing what you feel is the norm of life. Or if you have a child look at him or her playing. They have no worry of ” am I this or that” Just playing care free.. Just being their true divine self in that one moment. It’s not easy but the more I look at the beauty all around the more I see what we all are and that’s beautiful. Be your light, Spread your positive thought’s on all humanity. We are all amazing flowers shinning bright in full bloom of all. Saying to each other your beautiful and perfect in every shape and form. Working hand and hand to let go of all the pains we have in full joy and happiness. Playing like the children we are in heaven. These post are amazing because they let us all speak free. It’s great to read and it’s great to see us all coming together to help one another.

    Thank you for being you. Love to each one of you. Your all wonderful in every way and form.

  • June 29, 2010 at 7:03 am


    Upon reflection I realized that we are, in actuality, very much in agreement. We are both in awe of the wonder, the beauty of life. The major difference is how we express it but our goals are the same: to understand this wonderful – sometimes crazy – existence here on earth.

  • June 30, 2010 at 5:06 am

    Hello from Chicago-
    Everyone chill – cut Jessica some slack. Looks like Jessica has issues of her own. My hunch says because she took the time to comment to us, was on the adhd blog to begin with,this might be a case
    of what UN DIAGNOSED ADHD looks like UN TREATED.
    Jessica may very well have ADHD and not know it
    that’s why she wound up on this blog anyway and found the time to express herself. JESS take the ADHD symptom test !!! Thanks for visiting the blog
    Thanks ZOE talk to you later BK CHICAGO

    • June 30, 2010 at 7:43 am

      Hey, bk chicago (can I call you bk?)… 🙂
      You’re very welcome, and thank you for writing. While we’ll probably never know what got the bee in Jessica’s bonnet, I really appreciated your attitude and kindness. You could be right, of course, and if that’s the case, boy, haven’t we all been there? ie. – misunderstood for angry outbursts because a) we didn’t know ourselves why we were doing it; and b) no one else knew either, therefore the conclusion was that we were just nasty, or some equally as unflattering assessment. Thanks for giving us some balance.
      Look forward to hearing from you again!


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