5 thoughts on “7 Dirty Little ADHD Secrets

  • May 22, 2014 at 12:19 pm

    Bingo! Although I fall into the “non-carnal” category.

    Had that sugar daddy thing all worked out (and he was amazing) but damned if his brain cancer screwed up that deal. Ok, I also may be dealing (or rather not) with a simultaneous PTSD explosion. Double the fun? All I know is that I’m confused as crap and someone needs to fix all this. Do you express ship fairy dust??

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  • May 27, 2014 at 6:38 am

    Nice article.

    Faking it! I am a paranoid schizophrenic, and on this point, know exactly what you are talking about. Unable to connect with emotions, i often find myself faking them to match whatever the expected response is. And yes, it is draining, and you get sick of it after a while.

    If people were less normal they would understand!

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    • May 28, 2014 at 1:11 pm

      Thanks for sharing Mike. I’m glad you enjoyed the article. I think the “faking it” is different for people with ADHD. Sometimes we don’t connect with our emotions either, but mostly I think the “faking it” part is trying to look like we’re confident and competent when we don’t feel that way at all. Or trying to respond appropriately in a situation when we have absolutely no clue what the appropriate response is! That’s when we watch what others are doing and try to “fit in” to the situation.

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  • July 28, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    Zoë,

    Are you reading my mind? Is there some trick being played on me? haha
    Everything you have said in these two articles is true about me, more-or-less.
    I always thought ADHD was BS (and sorta still do), but this list of traits describes me quite well.
    Yes, I have trouble remembering what I just read.
    Yes, I am slightly ‘hyper-sexual’.
    Yes, I have felt like both the dumbest and smartest guy in the room, mostly dumbest, but with a sense that I some secret power that I could use, were I not so anxious about everything and were it not for my need to have everything ‘approved’.
    It took me 7 years to get an undergrad degree.

    So what should I do? I get that there have been factors beyond my control and awareness, that have negatively affected my trajectory though life (I’m 45 Y.O.), including low self-esteem, weak job performance, lost relationships, low level drug/alc problems, etc; I understand all of that now, but what is the next step? Where from here?
    Confusion reigns in the kingdom (or twobed, depending on perspective)…

    Thank you for your timë,

    BK

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  • June 9, 2018 at 12:04 pm

    I recently stumbled across this two-part article while looking for information on ADHD and asexuality. I am 56 and have identified as asexual for many years. It was only in a passing reference in an online forum that the topic of ADHD and asexuality was brought up. I was diagnosed as what is now called ADHD back in the early 1970’s and subsequently had to take medication in the morning and then visit the school nurse, who I got to know very well over the years, at lunch time. As I read this article, my jaw dropped because in my own little world, I was the only one to whom this applied. Seeing my own quirks spelled out in an article was truly sobering. Most of the 7 do apply to me though number 7 has always been elusive. My observations on these individually are as follows and I should note that I have never really shared this with anyone:

    1) I would definitely be poor if not for just dumb luck. I have always had a hard time finding the right job (I work in Information Technology) but when I have, the match has usually been great and I have enjoyed the work. I was lucky in that when I entered the job market, IT was going through consolidations and many layoffs. I was always able to take on more and more tasks as people were let go so I was considered invaluable. Plus, by being something of a risk taker at times, I made what were considered “bad” retirement investments that paid off very well. But just one slip up in that chain and I would be poor. As it is now, I am barely employed and jobs are no longer plentiful for my age group. I am working basically full time for a tiny little almost insolvent company for full medical benefits and small stipend. If that had been my life all these years, I would have been poor.

    2) I fall on the asexuality side as well has being rather sensitive to touch and loud noises. Even shaking hands can sometimes feel like a static charge up my arm. Hugging is very disconcerting to me. I often have to grit my teeth at family gatherings when people are hugging every one. Thankfully growing up, my family was not touchy feely.

    3) Faking it. I thought I was the only one on the planet observing others and working hard to fit in. The constant attacks on the “firewall” in my head require constant processing. I have an 80-year-old mother who talks to herself and also hums nonsensical tunes. My brain naturally tries to home in and process that useless drivel and I have to mentally work to turn it off (and forget about being around someone talking on their cellphone). I am often asked to attend various social gatherings or musical concerts for charitable events that are extremely taxing to my brain. If the music is too loud it will hurt my head. If there are a lot people all milling around talking, I have to head to an isolated area, usually off to a nearby corner and hopefully find one or two people to talk to. I have put up with it for probably 35+ years now but I am slowly finding my defenses starting to wane. The mental paddling to stay above water is getting harder after all these years which in turn leads to higher levels of stress for me (as if being ADHD didn’t already provide a heightened level of stress).

    4) It has taken me a long time to even partially accept this. In school, I was always labeled an underachiever and my academic performance in public school and college was “C” level though subjects that interested in me usually yielded A’s. However, I do remember back in middle school when we were all given IQ tests for the first time. Seemed easy enough and never gave it another thought. A few weeks later I was called into the school psychologist’s office and she wanted to know if I was bored in school. Was I just not interested in the material? What kind of subjects was I interested in. What did I like to do, etc., etc. Even my parents were called in to discuss “me”. It only dawned on me years later that I must have done very well on that test and they were trying to figure out why my test results did not match up with my grades. Even when I took a private IQ test and was stunned at the result (yes, somewhere in the 92%-94% range) I had a hard time accepting it. They seemed like trivial tests that a five-year-old could pass. Again, I always assume my brain is running in low gear and everyone else is running normal to turbo charged. If my brain is the one running on overdrive, then I shudder to think what it would be like to not be able to look at puzzles, number patterns, computer programs, etc. and not have the solution appear right in front of you. I often have people compliment on being very smart and helpful yet I am always thinking, “if they only knew”.

    5) Ah yes, I can very easily spot someone just like me. In fact, I have a nephew who was diagnosed with ADHD many years ago and is brilliant in math. I have a niece who I see all the classic signs in but no one else sees it or does anything about it. I have to keep my mouth shut because I would be interjecting myself into something I am not supposed to get involved in. But I definitely recognize it. And she is very smart in those subjects that interest her. If she actually applies just a tiny effort to a subject, she does very well. If/when she is ever evaluated, it will be a tough call as to whether or not I admit I pretty much knew it.

    6) I do not run into that many ADHD adults any longer. Working for a tiny company leaves me no contact with ADHD people with similar skills. Also, amongst my friends and social circle there is no one that stands out to me as being similar. The comment about blanking out and walking out of a room is funny because I am still somewhat guilty of that. If I am in a meeting and I need a one minute or so breather to get my thoughts together, I’ll start coughing a little and then say I need to go get a cup of water. And I’ll bring the cup back with me just to prove I was doing that LOL. Bathroom breaks are not that good an excuse as most people can hold it in for a 30-minute meeting. But coughing just becomes annoying to everyone so there is an excuse to deal with it immediately (my little secret).

    7) I have never had much luck with this one. If I try to be perfectly quiet and serene, thoughts of just about everything run through my mind. I often wake up in the morning feeling anxious because my mind has been treating me to a full review of every little nagging thing I need to worry about that day and the next several weeks. And that anxiety leads to a feeling of exhaustion pretty quickly unfortunately. If I am up at 6:30am, I am usually feeling drained by 7:30am.

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