‘Twas four days before Christmas, I sat in my house
My cat was still sleeping, ignoring her stuffed mouse;
My friends’ stockings were hung by the new wooden stairs
I sat in my office in my old office chair.
At ten in the morning, my first morning call;
I chatted as per usual, not suspecting at all.
When out in the front room there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.
As I stood up, my head it started to ring;
To my dread and my horror, it could be only one thing!
The cat was all nestled, snug in her chair;
She (being quite deaf) still slept without care.
But I couldn’t ignore
The sight of my tree,
Oh, perfect, I thought;
It’s like ADHD.
I stared there in shock as the thoughts tumbled in:
The floor soaking wet, the water sinking in.
Save all the presents! I thought with alarm,
And ran for a towel to lessen the harm.
Grace under pressure, I stayed on the phone;
Sopped up the water and cleaned up my home.
As I multi-tasked in true ADHD style,
I finished my call with a bewildered smile.
Now vacuum! Now sweep!
Drag the tree down the hall!
Clean up every shattered
Ornament and ball!
As dry needles
Out my backdoor they flew,
With four days ‘til Christmas,
What the hell would I do?
The stump of a cigarette
I held in my teeth
The smoke it encircled
My head like a wreath.
I sat chubby and plump, my miserable self
(I just joined the Y to rehabilitate myself).
Back in the house, made a cup of hot tea
I know what I’ll do! I’ll go to plan B.
I sprang to my kitchen
And picked up a plant;
Rearranged all the gifts,
Though the result was quite scant.
My friends they were due
To arrive in four days,
To eat Christmas dinner,
And music to play.
The spirit of Christmas
Would greet them with no tree,
But I knew with assurance,
They were there to see me.
As I ponder with wonder
My pre-Christmas plight,
I think What can go wrong, will,
But we’ll have a good night.
Happy ADHD Christmas everyone!
P.S. – A Christmas miracle: only ONE ornament broke!