You might have smirked and thought, “Who is she kidding?” Or maybe you thought, “What the heck are we celebrating? My ADHD never did anything good for me.” Maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who saw the words Happy ADHD Awareness Month and simply smiled and thought, “You too Zoe.”
And how would you feel if I told you I spent ADHD Awareness Month eve drinking and smoking and playing bass guitar till the wee hours with a man half my age? Would you be disappointed? Disillusioned? Would you think, “She needs to go back on her meds,” or, “I thought she had this all figured out.”
Or maybe you could relate.
On the bright side, I’ve accomplished some stuff too. And of all the neighbors on the street it’s me, the newbie, who’s taking care of the neighbor’s dog while she’s away.
Now I have to keep track of not only my own keys, but hers too.
Now I have to keep track of not only my own keys, but hers too. But I’m meeting my responsibilities in the pet-sitting realm.
I’ve also helped to rebuild a section of trail on Canada’s longest wilderness boardwalk. So it’s a mixed bag.
And it’s ADHD Awareness Month. I woke up this morning, and I still have ADHD. Especially without medication, it’s been a daily battle to find my focus, to stay on track, and move forward.
It’s also been a time of great joy, unbridled enthusiasm and new passions – astronomy, gardening, making music, planning new ADHD educational tools. Planning, but not finishing.
And jobs. More jobs. I’m freelancing as a gardener, and looking for something else for winter to supplement the meager income of a Canadian author.
I still have ADHD. Life is a balancing act for all of us, ADHD or not. I’m not unhappy with my life; on the contrary, I’ve never been happier.
I’m still struggling with perennial areas of weakness and sometimes I wish my ADHD would just go away. Yes, yes, I know it’s a “gift,” not just a pain in the ass, but the solutions and structures and strategies are still so mercurial at times. I have the answers, but can’t always apply them. I haven’t given up. I’ll never give up.
Maybe I’ve regressed in my treatment. Maybe I should go back on my ADHD stimulant medication. Maybe I will.
Whatever I do, it’s ADHD Awareness Month.
Let’s get to work.