I’m thinking about creating an online dating site just for adults with ADHD. After all, it’s no secret that we’re frequently available. In fact, how many people can say that there are whole books written about how to get along with them (my favorite, so far, being The ADHD Effect on Marriage)?
I know what you’re thinking. The answer is no, I’m not looking. I just thought this might be a valuable service to a market that so desperately needs it. (Okay, that’s not entirely true. It’s also my subtle, endearing, and chicken-shit way of warning my new squeeze about what he’s getting himself into).
Contemplating this new entrepreneurial initiative, I imagined what some of the online profiles might look like. I’ll use mine as an example. (It’s not real. I’m not looking, remember? This is just a sample of the raw honesty I’ll be expecting from fellow ADHDers, especially if they expect to have more lasting relationships in the future. Again, some of these questions were inspired by POF and eHarmony, but I’ll be adding a few of my own, too. That’s for a future post.)
Let’s start with some of the questions you’ll be asked on your profile (and my sample ADHD-honest answers).
Things I like to do in my spare time:
Everything. (What is “spare time” btw?)
I especially like to play loud, sexually suggestive rock music on my bass guitar. But this could change next week. Past passions include mixing and applying my own mehndi, horseback riding, playing djembe, and taking long walks on the beach holding hands. [Yes, I actually do that. I didn’t make that up like everyone else. Where were they? There was no one else on the beach. Just me and my new squeeze. Therefore everyone else is a liar. Please do not apply if you are a liar. Wait, don’t respond at all. I am not looking. I am walking on the beach with my new squeeze unless he, like you, is offended by my blatant use of the word “liar” when applied to random lonely strangers who aren’t hurting anybody by claiming they love to take long romantic walks on the beach even though as far as I can see, there is never anyone else taking long romantic walks on the beach besides me – and I am usually alone btw. Nor, I might add, have I ever (ok, rarely) met anyone else on the hiking trails, out snowshoing, or watching a meteor shower in the middle of a cold, dark field. Just me. And now my new squeeze. He’s pretty great that way. I hope he doesn’t mind me calling everyone else a liar. We’ll see].
The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:
Someone who will get a kick out of me just as I am (as opposed to kicking me for who I am. I have ADHD. I am sick of that.)
The first thing people notice about me:
I look 10 to 15 years younger than others my age. (I also act it, and then some. This is mostly a blessing, but not always. Let’s just say, I might get along with your teenagers better than I get along with you. In general, that is. New squeeze, ignore that last comment.)
3 of my best life skills are:
Life skills? What are life skills?
I’m really good at picking up a dime with my toes, skipping stones at the beach, and talking.
Things I can’t live without:
Alcohol, books, and intense conversations with friends. Okay, I can live without alcohol, but only if I get to play rock music a lot or sit around all day reading a book. Or have a lot of sex. Otherwise, I choose red wine or vodka coolers.
I also can’t live without a healthy diet of organic, home-cooked food, and lots of exercise outdoors. And gardening. And a spiritual practice.
It’s complicated. See “The most important thing I am looking for in a person is” above.
The last book I read and enjoyed:
What movies do you like?
I can’t remember their names. Moonstruck is one. Billy Elliot. There are lots more, but I forget. Don’t ask me about song titles either. Or my cousin’s kids names. Or what I did last weekend.
Okay ADHD adults, it’s your turn
What questions would you like to see included on your profile on my new dating site? Let me know!