Zoë’s Pet Peeves: Why Am I So Stubborn?
I’ve been re-assessing where I’m at these days with my ADHD self-treatment and wondering why I’m so stubborn when it comes to trying some new tools.
I’ve recently increased my stimulant medication dosage, and I’m very happy with the results. I’ve cut the fogginess in my brain. Much like getting a new prescription for my glasses, my thinking is sharper, my days are in much better focus (not that I’d ever equate the decision to take medication in the first place with getting glasses; in fact I railed about that comparison in my very first Pet Peeve.)
Too stubborn? Procrastinating? Blocked? Hmmm…
Still, there are things I’ve been reluctant – nay, too stubborn, to try.
Chunking is an organizational tool I heard about in the first year or two after my ADHD diagnosis. So why haven’t I tried it yet?
This morning, I woke up in a panic realizing that I have approximately 7 or 8 ADHD books to review, most of which I’ve started reading, many of which I’ve taken notes on for my review as I’ve read, and none of which I’ve started writing a review for. Why?
Now, I’m completely overwhelmed as I think about how, yet again, I’m falling behind and starting, but not finishing, anything.
Ok, I’ve finished some stuff, but not enough. And I’m still not as organized as I’d like. And I’m still getting overwhelmed and anxious and panicky about my self-imposed workload.
Then I thought of “chunking.”
Chunking: does that have anything to do with chocolate?
I suddenly realized that I’ve always associated the word “chunking” with chocolate. And chocolate goes with calories. And eating sweet stuff. And the fact that I’m worried about my teeth ’cause I haven’t been able to afford to go to the dentist for ages and what if I need to get all my teeth pulled and get dentures? Bummer. I can’t afford dentures. I don’t want to lose my teeth.
So that’s where my mind goes when I think of chunking. You can see why I’d avoid it altogether.
Fine. Today I’m putting on my big girl pants and re-assessing the situation.
Chunking: why not?
I know chunking has nothing to do with eating chocolate. I am desperate. I am trying to self-coach. I pledge, here and now, to take the dive into the world of chunking one’s tasks. I am going to solidify my swirling, sweet mess of chocolate sauce into manageable, solid chunks. I am going to savor one, and only one, piece at a time.
And I will write a self-coaching blog post to let you know how it goes. It’s about time I ‘fessed up to my self-coaching progress anyway, and this will give me something concrete to report.
So, please excuse me, while I try to learn about “chunking” and how to implement it (while simultaneously trying to avoid going on a chocolate binge. Maybe I’ll come up with a new name with less dangerous associations while I’m at it). I’ll let ya know if I find chunking as an approach to time management delicious or disastrous.
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Kessler, Z. (2011). Zoë’s Pet Peeves: Why Am I So Stubborn?. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 17, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-zoe/2011/08/zoes-pet-peeves-why-am-i-so-stubborn/