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Zoë's Pet Peeves: Whiners!

Zoë's Pet Peeves: Whiners!
A friend asked me the other day if I was worried that writing about ADHD so much would make me dwell on it. I admit, when I first considered blogging for Psych Central, I was worried about that. I mean, I’m a pretty seasoned navel-gazer at the best of times, but I was worried that constantly thinking about ADHD, and talking about the most difficult and challenging aspects of it, might make me downright morose.

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a whiner. Especially if it’s me.

I admit, sometimes I do feel sorry for myself. But that’s rare. And when it happens, I know it’ll pass within a couple of days. I don’t fight it. I’ve learned that if I go with it, I’ll get through it much more quickly. And one thing I won’t give in to, is whining.

I got thinking about all this when a friend of mine, who’s hoping to get his own diagnosis for ADD soon -WAIT! – “hoping to get a diagnosis for ADD” makes him sound crazier than he really is.  What I mean is,  we’re both pretty convinced that he’s probably one of the tribe, and the sooner he gets his diagnosis, the sooner he can begin his treatment.

Which ADHD er are you: a Whiner or a Dealer?Anyway, as part of his education, my friend’s been reading blogs about ADHD, mine and others,’ and put forward this cool metaphor (which I use with permission, although I’d love to claim that I came up with it. As I said, he does read my blog, so I’d never get away with it, darnit!).  I’ll call it the Switch & Slide Theory:

“We all have these switches and some are like ‘On/Off’ and some are like volume slides and some are like balance slides. So we all have this, that, or the other characteristic turned on or off and the volume for it set low, medium or high, but there are some things that can only be so much of this and so much of that (like balance on a stereo) so we each have a slide control that moves to the left or right, depending on how much of something we have in comparison to how little of another.

“For instance, ‘we’ all have this switch that says, ‘What to do about ADHD’ and it slides from the left where it says ‘Whine’ to the right where it says ‘Deal’.”

~ Kelly, as-yet-undiagnosed-but-may-just-be ADHDer

Kelly says my slide is “way right of centre,” which I’m happy about. He’s defining “right of centre” as being on the side of dealing with ADHD. But as he reads and compares voices of other ADHD bloggers, he says he’s found some that are “somewhere left of centre,” and others at different points on his imaginary scale.

I like the way Kelly concluded his metaphor:

“I gotta set my own switch, but having figured this out I’m going to be checking it regularly to make sure it hasn’t been
bumped too far to the left while I wasn’t looking.”

Good reminder.

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Zoë's Pet Peeves: Whiners!

Zoë Kessler, BA, B.Ed.

Zoë Kessler is an award-winning author, journalist, and speaker specializing in women and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD / ADD).

A frequent contributor to ADDitude Magazine, Kessler has also created video, standup comedy, and guest blogs on ADHD and Marriage covering ADHD-related topics.

Zoë, an internationally recognized ADHD expert, has been interviewed on radio and featured in magazine articles, documentaries, and books on the topic of women and ADHD across North America.

Her newly-released memoir ADHD According to Zoë - The Real Deal on relationships, Finding Your Focus & Finding Your Keys (New Harbinger Publications, 2013) about life with ADHD is now available.

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APA Reference
Kessler, Z. (2010). Zoë's Pet Peeves: Whiners!. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 31, 2020, from


Last updated: 16 Jul 2010
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