12 thoughts on ““Good” Interrupting and ADHD

  • January 25, 2020 at 9:42 am

    “There was also evidence of gender biases in how people perceive interruptions, such that men judged women who interrupted more harshly.” ….. I do judge women more harshly for it. They do it a lot more often than men. Women are entirely more entitled than men are on all counts. It’s not all their fault, we teach them to be entitled then complain when they interrupt. It’s called peeing in the wind and then complaining about the rain.

    Reply
    • January 29, 2020 at 7:37 pm

      Actually, in the study I linked to, women and men read the exact same conversation scripts, but the women were judged more harshly (by men). So clearly men are judging women more negatively for the exact same behavior as men.

      You should really read the linked article from Stanford about that study. Learning new things is a lot more fun than clinging to ignorant ideas.

      Reply
      • January 29, 2020 at 10:25 pm

        Now I am ingnorant eh? 96 percent of the people incarcerated in the U.S are men. Men are judged more far often than women and the disadvantage of being a man in family court is well documented as well. I think you just made my point for me.

        Reply
      • February 11, 2020 at 7:47 pm

        Are you batshit insane? How do more men in prison indicate men are judged more harshly?

        Dnt want to go to prison? Don’t do crimes. Very simple.

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      • February 11, 2020 at 9:12 pm

        Now I am batshit insane! You’re probably just trolling but here is my answer anyway. Men also commit suicide at a rate 78% higher than women. Men are punished severely for showing any anger. That’s where men in prison becomes relevant. Women can spout off in public anytime they want without any fear of repercussions. There are hundreds of shelters in the US for women who suffer domestic violence but only one for men. However women and men both suffer domestic violence at similar rates.

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      • January 29, 2020 at 11:16 pm

        Whether or not they read the same scripts only asserts that men are more judgemental of women. I did not disagree with that. But it says they judge women more harshly and leaves the assumption out there as gospel that the judgement is wrong. I simply addressed the why. How often are you interrupted? How often is it a man? How often is it a woman? Women will walk right up and and interrupt while I am still talking about something important. Men are terrified of confronting them because they are women and they are entitled so they will cause a scene rather than apologize for their hostile behavior. They completely change the subject. Ask yourself why men are more judgmental of women interrupting? Did these scripts indicate whether the people were sitting together having a conversation or did the interrupter just walk up and change the subject, disregarding the person talking? I have ADHD too. I understand the urge to blurt before someone else is finished. It is true that I am afraid I will forget what I want to say. Yes it is embarrassing when someone gives you that look because you address an issue they moved on from. That’ why I have learned how to ask for consideration and permission as I reintroduce the question or argument I am addressing. I also journal about the issues that are important to me. That way I am more likely to remember my talking points next time the conversation comes up. Being considerate of others in a conversation is a priority for me so I have decided that if it is not important enough to go in my blog or stick in my brain for more than a few seconds then it is probably more important that I listen more than I talk about the given subject. Talking and listening is a balancing act and most people err on the side of talking and waiting for their turn to talk rather than actually listening to and reflecting what has been said by the other person. I am 53. This has been a long road learning how to compensate for my mental health issues. Allow yourself time to learn the skills necessary to compensate for your ADHD. If you are going to communication workshops and practice groups then you can pat yourself on the back for the progress you make each year in spite of the other people you have offended. But if you are just making excuses for your behavior because you have ADHD then you Should feel guilty and you deserve the negative social consequences. They serve a purpose for stimulating us to think about our habits. They are the mirror that we look to in order to see ourselves and evaluate what we want to change.

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      • February 11, 2020 at 8:01 pm

        triggered

        Reply
  • January 28, 2020 at 8:09 am

    I constantly interrupt because:

    1. I will forget what I want to say if I don’t say it straight away…and it is only when I have blurted out what I want to say that I notice that the placement of what I wanted to say it out of synch with the “natural flow” of the conversation and it tends to be the person/s I interrupted facial expressions that tell me that.

    2. My neutral mode in all conversation is that “I always know what the speaker is about to say or thinking” so in my head my interrupting is helping move the conversation along…and again the change of facial expression of those I am communicating with is the only time I realise they are not happy

    3. I perceive the gaps of silence between sentences to be very tense and quite uncomfortable as I speak super fast and move super fast and I expect others to be like me or follow suit

    Reply
    • January 29, 2020 at 7:43 pm

      I hadn’t considered that ADHDers might be more likely to interrupt partly because they don’t want to forget what they’re going to say, but I think that makes a lot of sense. As far as the feeling that what the other person is saying will be predictable, I would imagine people with ADHD would generally tend to have less patience in that situation than people without ADHD. Thanks for sharing your perspective!

      Reply
  • February 8, 2020 at 3:17 am

    You get this when one ADHDr connects with another. That joy of a kindred spirit lol

    Reply
    • February 11, 2020 at 2:29 pm

      For sure!

      Reply
 

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