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4 Things I Want People Without ADHD to Know

In a world of ideal mental health awareness, everyone would be a trained psychotherapist with extensive knowledge of ADHD symptoms. I wouldn’t have to explain my inattentive moments, my impulsive decisions or my fluctuating motivation because everyone would know that those are part of ADHD.

6 thoughts on “4 Things I Want People Without ADHD to Know

  • October 23, 2018 at 8:17 am

    That most of the time when being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, that there that a person usually has a duo diagnosis, and that ADHD combined with other mental illness, is everything you have stated here in this blog and more

    • October 25, 2018 at 3:10 pm

      Indeed, coping with ADHD is often about coping with ADHD + whatever other condition your brain has been graced with. Thanks for adding that!

  • October 23, 2018 at 1:21 pm

    Thank you for the insight into my ADHD. The fulfillment of everyday tasks that a person without ADHD takes for granted, such as being on time, on topic, and on guard in social situations, is something that I long to have in my own life.

    I want others to realize how great our need is that we could fit in, and the pain and embarrassment we feel when we try and fail.
    There is an innate craving by most people to want to be accepted by others. To know that there is someone, or ones who consider it a good thing that you’re a part of their lives.

    That being said, as I get older, I am learning to embrace the “good” in having ADHD. The good being the ability to hyperfocus.

    In order to embrace the good, it means shying away from those who can’t, or even worse, refuse to, accept me the way I am. It’s especially difficult to do when it’s a parent or a sibling.
    However, I recently discovered that self preservation demands that I do so, or I will forever live in fear of not measuring up to others expectations, and I am tired of trying be someone that I’m not.

    It’s taken me 40+ years to come to grips with that sobering truth, and though it’s excruciating to cut ties with loved ones, I’ve found freedom, and an increasing measure of self confidence in doing so.

    That has however resulted in my having either a non existent social circle, or having temporary ones which are based solely on my ability to hyperfocus.

    I have found one other trait that I appreciate, but I don’t know if it has anything to do with having ADHD. It’s the ability to challenge myself to find something good, something positive, however SMALL it might be, in situations that many people see ONLY the negative.
    I am truly grateful for that gift.

    Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to share my feelings.

    • October 25, 2018 at 3:15 pm

      Hi Dawn, thanks so much for sharing your experiences. I think the journey of trying to move from wanting to fit in to embracing our differences is one that resonates with a lot of ADHDers. And you’re right, that journey is almost never harder than when you have family members who aren’t accepting or understanding of ADHD.

      The relationship between having ADHD and an ability to stay positive is one that’s interesting. I’ve speculated about this topic in some of my past posts. I mean, resilience and a positive attitude aren’t part of ADHD, but they are traits that a lot of us have been forced to cultivate by our experiences, or have intentionally tried to cultivate after years of swimming in all the negativity that ADHD can bring.

  • October 24, 2018 at 10:29 pm

    I would like people to know that we need a high level of physical activity, every day, to be at our best functioning level. For me, now that I’m retired, if I get a swim, gym workout, bike ride, fast walk or ski in the morning, the rest of my day is much more productive. When working, I had a job that was fast-paced and involved many different sites and groups of people or individuals to work with every day. A combination of cognitive problem-solving and physical activity works for me! When I was a student, I was always watching the clock…and it moved so slowly. Sitting is so difficult for ADHD kids.

    • October 25, 2018 at 3:20 pm

      One of the things I repeat over and over on this blog is the need to find a stimulating work environment if you have ADHD. More generally, I think your point about physical activity is one that is especially useful for teachers and employers to hear: simple measures like standing desks and breaks for exercise can make a workplace or classroom much more friendly to people with ADHD, especially the hyperactive kind.


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