Here on ADHD Millennial, I often talk about things like coping strategies and symptom management. But today, I want to go a step further – I’m going to share some cures for ADHD.
That’s right. These are comprehensive solutions that will make your symptoms go away. And I’m sure they’re things you haven’t thought of.
How can I be so sure? Because I, too, never thought of doing these things until other people suggested them to me. When people finally did suggest these solutions to me, it was a revelation. Suddenly, I saw the path forward to curing my ADHD.
So here are the 4 solutions to ADHD that you definitely haven’t thought of:
- Try harder: As someone smart once said, “hard work can solve any problem. Literally, any problem. There is nothing you can’t accomplish with hard work. Literally, nothing.” If you’re experiencing so-called “ADHD symptoms,” most likely you’re simply lazy. Try harder, and the symptoms will go away.
- Stop believing in a made-up disorder: You’ve probably never heard this before, but the truth is that ADHD simply does not exist. Just accept this and your symptoms will go away, because you can’t have symptoms of a disorder that doesn’t exist now, can you? What about all those scientists who say ADHD is real, research ADHD for a living, and have consistently found differences between people with and without ADHD, you might ask? Well, let me remind you that these “scientists” are the same people who say that we’re all descended from monkeys and that the Earth is a ball that circles around the sun.
- Have better parents: If you’ve been told by a psychiatrist that you have ADHD, it’s probably because your parents want to put a label on you to explain away their bad parenting. Most likely your parents let you watch TV and eat sugar all day and don’t provide any traditional discipline, and then they take you to the doctor to find excuses for why you can’t focus. “Wait, wait,” you might say, “I’m a grown adult, why are we talking about my parents?” Well, if you are indeed a grown adult, then by definition you don’t have ADHD because only hyperactive little boys qualify for diagnosis. Therefore, if you have ADHD we can logically conclude that you are a child, that you have bad parents, and that the solution is to have better parents.
- Just focus: If you’ve been diagnosed with this fake disorder, chances are you’ve been having trouble concentrating. I don’t mean to be insensitive, but clearly the solution here is just to focus. As Nike says, “Just do it.” If your problem is that you can’t focus, is there any more logical solution than to simply start focusing? I doubt it.
I know what you’re thinking:
“Wow, I can’t believe I never thought of these things.”
“Now it all makes sense.”
“I’m so glad you told me these powerful truths about ADHD. You’ve changed my life.”
No problem. I like to share my wisdom about how ADHD is just a hoax and an excuse for not trying hard enough. After all, someone’s got to do it. We sure can’t trust all these “scientists” and “researchers.”
Stay tuned for my next insightful post on this topic, titled Why ADHD Medication Is Literally Exactly the Same as Crack Cocaine.