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ADHD

Inappropriate, Impulsive or Inspirational? You be the Judge!


I live in Canada. We call it the Great White North because of its annual covering of snow. In my part of Canada, that lasts three or four months.

We do have warm weather for five to seven months of the year. We also usually have one to four months of shoulder season, times when nights are chilly and days are cool.

These weather patterns aren’t exclusive to Canada. The northern states share my latitude and weather. But I’m not writing an exotic travelogue here.


ADHD

ADHD Dating Website Profiles or How I Met Your Mother

I know, I’ve been dwelling a lot on relationships this month, a hazard of my personal situation. Loss makes you feel alone.

I also know I should be talking about the holidays and the stress they bring as a special gift for those of us with ADHD. But this post isn’t as far off the mark as you might think.
♪♫“Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas, without the one you love ...”♫♪♫
For those of us who are spending the holidays alone, the urge to “repair” this situation may be rather strong. And the new-age techno way of doing that is from the comfort of your home through online social networks that are geared toward matching you with that perfect someone.

While I’m not tempted to head out onto the info-bahn to find that perfect ether-mate – yet – I am willing to concede that it is an option for many of today’s lonely hearts.


ADHD

Why Therapists Make the Best Girlfriends (or Boyfriends)


Okay, that’s inappropriate, and it’s a bad title. I have ADHD though, I’m prone to blurting out inappropriate things, ask any of my friends.

And yes, that title does imply a relationship that should never occur, bear with me. I know I’ve crossed a line, but I can explain. I’m thinking that a lot of what goes into being a good therapist is on the shortlist for an ADHDer’s partner.
So what makes a good therapist?
Several websites offer resources for those who wish to head off to therapy forewarned and forearmed. Here at Psych Central we have an article titled


ADHD

My ADHD Stress This Holiday Season


I seem to be suffering from the most debilitating episode of anxiety. In the last two months I’ve been awakened three times in the night with excruciating chest pains. I swear it feels like I’m suffering cardiac failure, but no.

The holidays seem to be playing a roll here. I’m feeling the loss of my wife this month rather acutely. I’m not trying to downplay what I’ve felt up ‘til now, but I have to say that comparing my lot to those around me is making me feel the strain a bit more.


ADHD

An ADHD Letter to Santa

Dear Santa:


Last year, in my previous blog, I wrote to you and said:
“And I think, if you’re willing to consider my request, that I have the perfect Christmas gift to ask you for. It would be a very useful thing for me, but it’s not just for me. It would help others across the country, across the continent and around the world. It would help not just those of us with ADHD, but those people who love us and want to understand what’s going on.”
I went on to ask for the ADHD equivalent of the moon:
“For Christmas, I’d like you to bring ADHD awareness to the world. I know there are bigger problems; AIDS, cancers, wars and crime. But I think that if we could resolve some of the problems surrounding the lives of those of us with ADHD, we could all work together on these other things.
I realize now that I might have been asking too much of you. I’m aware that the world isn’t really listening to you so much anymore.


ADHD

Persist, Pursue, Persevere: ADHD Life Skills Requirements


Sometimes you wonder. I mean, sometimes you just have to wonder. How did I make it here? How did I survive? I'm telling you, I've been beaten, battered and abused, and I keep going. I keep going for two reasons.
I'm nothing if not persistent
First, it's my nature to persevere. I'm not about to quit, I've left things undone.

Yeah, I know, leaving things undone is an ADHD thing. It isn't a lack of responsibility, if anything, it's being hyper-responsible. I'll be distracted by something I know needs my attention and that causes me to forget the thing I was giving my attention to.

I do keep going back to the things I've left undone, at least mentally, and I know there are lots of them so I have to keep going. I'm responsible for finishing this stuff.


Adult ADHD

Stuck in the Middle With ADHD

In the year 2009, I thought all was well. I was married and working at odd jobs. My wife and I were able to support ourselves comfortably. We had been married for 25 years.

My wife’s health was such that she needed companionship nearly constantly, and over the last ten or so of those 25 years I was that companion. In the course of our marriage I would estimate that we spent as much time together as a couple that had been married for 40 years. In the two years since 2009, I have been diagnosed with ADHD and in the last four months I’ve lost my wife and taken on the job of writing for Psych Central as the ADHD Man of DistrAction.
Good timing? Hardly ...


ADHD

ADHD Shame, Why I Hate Being Me

On Wednesday I told you why I was proud to stand among you. I think I’m going to dedicate today to talking about the burdens that I bear. The ones that have made me stronger. These are my problems. You may share some or all of them, and you may have more of your own. Let’s see.

I’m at my computer making a note about one of the things that upsets me about my ADHD. I’d like to say that I came into my office to do that, but really I came into my office to do ... something ... that I can’t quite recall.

I tried all the usual methods of retrieval, I scratched my head, I checked my email, I opened seventeen tabs in my browser, I swore at myself for being an idiot – all to no avail.

This is one of the things about ADHD that I hate. I don’t hate that it happens, I hate that it happens fifty times a day.


ADHD

ADHD Pride, Why I’m Happy To Be Me


I was having a conversation with a friend not long ago, and we got onto the topic of how we (people with ADHD) are perceived by the public. She told me she didn’t like people knowing that she had ADHD because, to her, it’s a weakness and she didn’t want to appear weak (I may have been wearing a revealing shirt at the time ...).

I told my friend that I refuse to accept people perceiving me as weak, I deal with more than they do and I survive. I'm tougher than any one of them. “I’m the toughest guy you know!” I said.
Not over by a long shot
I thought that would be the end of that, but it was not. I guess I don’t look as tough as I think I do.

She said “But even if you think you’re tough, and I’m not saying you’re not, people may still think you’re weak. And I’m bothered by what people think.”


ADHD

Talk to Me: A Conversation About ADHD Self-Dialogue


I talk to myself. I talk to myself quite a lot. Yes, I talk back to the radio, and to my computer, the DVD player, the hockey announcers, the fools in advertisements trying to sell me stupid things that I’ll never buy and those brilliant people in advertisements who are telling me about the wonderful things I could buy ...

Yes, I talk to the microwave, the toaster oven, the dishwasher and the thermostat. I’ve had some brilliant three-way conversations with the coffee maker and its friend, the coffee grinder. They’ve given me some amazing feedback on my work and may even have come up with one or two of my blog post topics (I think some of them sound like the coffee maker came up with them and the grinder convinced me to run with them ... sorry).
But that's not all ...
I talk to myself too. I’m not saying those conversations are any more scintillating than the ones with the coffee twins, just that I need conversation. I need feedback, even if it is only in my head. And in the absence of real live conversation, I need self-dialogue.