Due to ADHD and Other Circumstances …

... beyond my control, there will not be a regular blog post today. Ill health has descended on my home and has become the main topic of conversation. Yes, I’m alone, but you all know already that I talk to myself, right?

Anyway, influenza has commenced to influence the weather inside my head. A warm front interspersed with frequent chills has taken over creating a vast fog bank rolling around between my ears.

Frequent foghorns can be heard, though I suspect only by me, and there is a flurry of hankies falling in the laundry hamper area.


Getting Through a Sick Day – ADHD Style

Wednesday afternoon I came home feeling a little under the weather. My lungs felt like they had steel wool in them and my eyes were kind of itchy. I have a bit of lung damage though, and it’s winter, there isn’t enough moisture in the indoor air, my eyes always feel a little itchy in the winter.

I was probably fine. I hit the couch with a good book and drank tea for the evening.

I woke up on Thursday feeling much better, ’til I coughed. The steel wool was gone. It had been replaced by a handful of rusty nails.

No problem, I just wouldn’t cough. I headed out the door and climbed into my truck.

It wouldn't start ...


Dichotomy; ADHD Style

I'm always on time! Well, almost always. I worry about being late, so I make every effort to be punctual. I get distracted like every other ADHDer, I lose focus and wander. But my anxiety always brings me back.
Punctuality is the hallmark of good manners
So my anxiety is the cure for my potential tardiness, that's a dichotomy of sorts.

The fact that we can hyper-focus on some things and completely lose focus at other times is also an ADHD dichotomy. We've all heard “He can't have ADHD, he sits in front of the TV/computer/game console for hours!” Well, yeah, he does, but he also forgets his school books/briefcase/car keys/phone/computer ...
Hyper-focus vs. Hypo-focus
This isn't as huge a contradiction as it might appear on the surface, things that excite us and grab our attention are the very things that keep us from thinking about the little things that may have a big impact on us.

Here's an example, I love to drive, I particularly enjoy driving in challenging conditions. I wasn't always smart enough to refrain from going out on the roads when they should be left alone, I'm older and wiser now. But if I'm caught out there, I'm always up to the challenge.


Education is The Best ADHD Medication

A retired teacher from Manitoba once told me that when parents asked for her thoughts on ADHD medication for their child, she always told them their child would be medicated, the only choice was whether it was by the doctor or by the child themselves.

All she had was experience, this wasn’t a policy of her school or the board that she worked for as far as I know, but it sounds right.
Do what comes naturally
In my adolescent years I found alcohol. And I found pot. And I found risky behaviour. And I used them all.


Abandonment or Emancipation … or ADHD Anxiety

My psychologist is letting me go ... in a good way. A couple of sessions ago I said to her: “I'm getting better, aren't I?”

She replied with a statement that I'm sure is in the textbook entitled Therapy 101: “What makes you say that?”

Ha! I was ready for her! “Because you're laughing more in my sessions!” I said.

Apparently she was ready for me too. “That's because you're laughing more in your sessions.” she replied.
Damn! I wasn't ready to be better
I'm not in therapy just for the fun of it. I signed myself up for this when I thought I was suffering with clinical depression. A psychiatrist I've talked with told me once that people who show up with their own diagnosis are always wrong. I'm batting 500, I guessed my ADHD and was right, but my diagnosis of depression was way wrong.


Hardwired – ADHD Style

There are things I can count on my brain for. Thinking of inappropriate things to say is one of those things. Doing the thing I already figured out is not the next step in a sequence of tasks ... I do that too. Skipping steps, well, that's just another way of saying the same thing, isn't it. But it looks different sometimes, so I'm leaving it in.

I was doing some wiring in a friend's kitchen yesterday and I started thinking about hardwired activities. Yes, I did pull a box apart without throwing the breaker, no I didn't get a shock, nor did I put anyone else at risk.

And yes, I did go to the panel and throw the breaker before I tore the actual circuit apart.


ADHD Brain, Dog Brain – Revisited

Last year I wrote a post about the brain of a man being like the brain of a dog. I got into a little trouble over that with someone who took offense. That’s fine, I don’t back down from people who don’t share my opinions, I welcome their explanations.

After all, I got to have my say ...

But before anyone gets their dander up about this post, be advised that this is an analogy only, and barely that. It isn’t even gender specific like the last one.


How to Leverage Your ADHD Future

Those of us with ADHD, like everyone else, have something that is a part of life that we can leverage. We can use this commodity to our advantage, trade it for value, success, self esteem.

It doesn't matter that in the past we've screwed up ... okay, that may matter a little, we're probably all standing well behind the starting line, but once we find out what we're dealing with, we at least know what direction we're supposed to be going.

The commodity I'm talking about is the future. Your future, my future, our future. If we're going to stand still and whimper, it doesn't matter where the starting line is, we aren't going to reach the finish line ... okay, that's not true either.


Impulsive ADHD Behavior, There’s a Code For That …

It took me years to realize that everything we do is calculated, in some way, to make ourselves happy. Having ADHD means that my calculations aren’t always the comprehensive process they should be.

I crave happiness, just like anyone, but I want it now, instant gratification. I’m sure I could see the sense of enduring discomfort in the present to have long term comfort in the future, but I’d have to think about it to be able to see it.
“The warp engines are off line, captain, all we have is impulse power!”
Seeing an opportunity and a good potential outcome is all I need to see to make me impulsively do something without thinking through all the potential changes such actions could cause.


The ADHD Person Behind The Mask

It’s easy to follow the creation of the ADHD mask. It starts when we are young. Our behaviour is questioned, isolated, centred out for ridicule. We learn to hide things, first our pain, then our desires. Finally we suppress our goals.

Our pride dies. Not a painless death, but the long drawn out tortured agony of a thousand deaths. Each time we think we have done away with it, we find ourselves feeling a bit of pride in the way we’ve handled something or accomplished some small task.

Then we think we’re on the right track, finally making progress, soon to join the ranks of the successful and take our rightful place where we’ve always felt we’ve belonged.