Still Climbing After All These ADHD Years

I climb on things – all the time. I have no idea why, no idea what the attraction is. I’ve tried to figure it out.

I know I like adventure, but that’s why I cook, that’s why I read and go to the movies, that’s why I buy lottery tickets ... when I remember to.

Climbing on things, around things, over and under things, that’s adventure too, but it’s not just adventure.

Okay, there might be a hint more adventure involved. I do like hard to reach places, I love the unique view I get from the middle of the river. If I can get there without getting wet, that’s better. Still, there’s more to it than just adventure.

When I was young I loved to climb the spruce trees out in front of my home. I loved to sit quietly, looking down at my house. I remember being up so high I could see both sides of the steeply pitched roof of my home below me. These giant trees were at least 70 feet tall, and I was well up there, maybe 50 feet, maybe higher.


Two Rules For Being Married To An ADHDer

So, you’re married to an ADHDer. You’ve hitched your cart to a shooting star that’s ricocheting all over the universe, a runaway locomotive with no regard for staying on the rails. You’ve thrown in with a one person gang of time-thieves who live for fun and instant gratification, a Robin Hood, of sorts, who steals from the organized and adds to the scattered clutter.

So what’s the down side?

Okay, it does sound a little doom and gloom, but it sounds like adventure too, doesn’t it? And yes, it can be. ADHDers bring that to relationships, along with spontaneity and excitement. And, oh that hyperfocus. When you’re the target of that, it can sweep you off your feet.

Forewarned is forearmed!

In fact, if a little bit of attention goes a long way with you, beware the ADHDer’s courting, you’ll be dazed for days, and when it lulls, the contrast will leave you feeling very much abandoned.

But back to the established partnership...

If you’re in a relationship with a person with ADHD, there are things you’ll need to be aware of to make it work. And since ADHDers don’t come with manuals (or maybe they do, but they’ve misplaced them) there are things they need to be aware of that they may not know either. Remember, many ADHDers aren’t diagnosed ’til later in life, they may not have had time to learn everything about their condition. And no two ADHDers are alike, so they’ll need to learn what symptoms they have and how those affect them.

So, if you’ve dedicated yourself to being the partner of an ADHDer, here’s the first rule to making it a success: learn as much as you can about your partner.


Does ADHD Build Character?

You know, having an ADHD friend may be a mistake. We can’t be counted on to be on time. Ha, sometimes we can’t be counted on to show up at all. We’ll forget your birthday. We’ll forget dinner dates. We’ll forget to gas up your car when we borrow it.

Hell, we might forget we borrowed your car in the first place.

A cousin of mine married a man who may or may not be one of us, but I’m giving him an honorary diagnosis (I can do that right? It’s part of my membership kit, a certificate that allows me to initiate others into our family???). They were leaving their home on the east coast to come to the center of the continent for a visit.


ADHD Man of DistrAction Runs Away From Home

One of my greatest pleasures in life is riding my motorcycle. At 53 years of age I am proud to lay claim to 45 years of biking.

My father taught me to drive a motorcycle when I was eight years old. I couldn’t reach the gear shift lever so he changed gears for me from the back seat of his 80cc Suzuki scooter. The adventurous ADHDer in me was up for a ride any time of any day.
Nothing’s changed.
These days I ride whenever I can. I ride with friends, but I’ll ride alone if no one else is going.


The Write Approach To ADHD

A class. A course on writing, of all things. That's where I was on Tuesday night, a novel writing course.

And am I planning on writing a novel? Well ... not so much. Oh, I'm not saying it won't happen, I'm slowly writing my childhood memoirs and have every expectation of publishing them eventually, but right now? No. I have so much on the go right now, so many different tasks lined up one might be led to believe that I had ADHD.
Oh, yeah ... forgot there for a minute.
On Tuesday night I entered the classroom with some trepidation. As you heard in Wednesday's post, I had forgotten my medication on Tuesday. That was not my only cause for concern, however.
What could possibly go wrong?
The last time I set foot in a classroom I was, by my own estimation, normal, a norman, a standard issue human male – 1959 model. The course I was taking back then was, surprise, a writing course. Freelance Writing.


Kelly Unplugged: My Day Without ADHD Medicine

Twice in the past seven days I’ve managed to forget my meds. I take Concerta, which is Methylphenidate.

Methylphenidate is better known in our tribe as Ritalin. Did you know that Ritalin was named after the wife of its creator? Ciba chemist, Leandro Panizzon formulated methylphenidate.

His wife, Marguerite (her nickname was Rita), suffered from low blood pressure and took the stimulant before playing tennis. One assumes that it may well have helped her focus on the game as well as keeping up her blood pressure.
Damn, I’m wandering, I was trying to tell you that I may wander because today is one of those two days that I forgot my medication. Apparently I can’t tell you that I’m wandering – without wandering.


Overwhelm: A Noun That Defines ADHD

I’ve looked. I’ve looked through all my dictionaries (I tend to collect them) and through all the online dictionaries as well. Overwhelm is a verb. A transitive one in fact, one that has no meaning without an object. Some one thing must overwhelm some other thing.
And yet ...
I have to say that on the rare occasions that I’ve seen “overwhelm” being used as a noun I was uncomfortable with it, but it does make sense. To feel overwhelm in one’s life is exactly the sensation that many of us experience just before we shut down, break down, blow up or blow off our responsibilities.


Anger, The Big Bang Theory – ADHD Style

It still happens, I'm minding my own business and something or someone interrupts me. The result? I explode. What’s up with that?

I always thought of myself as laid-back before my diagnosis. I thought I was the most easy-going guy I knew. Well, that was clearly not possible, since I was the one person in my circle of acquaintances that I really, truly didn't know.

Turns out that laid-back and easy-going were qualities that I admired, and therefore I wishfully attributed them to myself. I was even able to cite examples to prove my carefree nature. Hadn't I managed to keep my cool when I burnt toast ... every day? Wasn't I able to take it all in stride when I ran out of gas, forgot to pay my bills, lost my datebook, my car keys, my wallet, my way ...?


The Role of Lists In The ADHD Life

Assistance or Distraction?

“I made a list of all my piles and put it on the pile of all my lists, now if I can find that pile of lists I'll know what all these piles are ...” ~ @kbriter – twitter comment
Aren't lists great? We make them, we hold on to them, file them, cross things off on them, and love them. They itemize our lives in bullet point format. They hold us to schedules and remind us of deadlines. They rule!


Okay, I admit that I don't always get results from lists. I often make too many of them, or make confusing ones, and I'm always misplacing them. I've gotten into the habit of putting my current list in my watch pocket of my jeans. (That's that little pocket above the main pocket that you keep your right hand in when you're trying to look cool and nonchalant.) And yes, I've laundered a few lists in my time.

Do you want a life?

If I live by my list, I don't have a life, I have a list. If I use the list as a guide, I have a life.
I find that a list can be a wonderful tool, so long as I respect it as a tool and am not a slave to it. If I live by my list, I don't have a life, I have a list. If I use the list as a guide, I have a life. And within that life I have a list of things whose completion will make my life easier or better in some way.


Confessions Of A Modern Day Prophet

or Why I’ll never be rich – or poor!

My psychologist tells me I need to work on my boundaries. She tells me that I may be too willing to give of myself to others. I see something that needs doing and I step into it. I told her (I think I told her ... ) that’s the way I was raised (it is the way I was raised you know ... ).

And anyway, she broke up with me last week. What does she know? Okay, she didn’t break up with me, we’re on a break. No, that still doesn’t sound right, she wants me to give life a try on my own, working without a net so to speak. And I know I can do it, it’s just a little harder.
Talk is cheap
I’m not sure if you, my dear reader, are aware of the fact that I use self dialogue to examine my life. I do. Apparently it’s an ADHD thing ... though not all of us do it (or maybe not all of us admit to it?). I talk to myself plenty.

It’s easier to have a conversation if you’re not alone, so in that self dialogue I usually play several roles to facilitate talking to myself. Antagonist, protagonist, devils advocate, shocked bystander ... you get the picture, right?