ADHD Focus: Can I Help It?

Can I help it if I forget what I came in here for? Yes, I can. I could say to myself, “I'm going to get my glasses, I'm going to get my glasses, I'm going to get my glasses” until I get to the room I was headed for and get them. I could do that, if I remembered that I need to do that at the outset. But even if I did do that, my potential for success is only increased marginally, it certainly isn't 100%.

And even if I do succeed, this time, it isn't worth it. The cost to my self esteem is too great. Having to treat myself like a child, having to force myself to behave like a child, to compensate for a uniqueness in my brain function that won't be cured is too great a price. And I have to add to that the lost brain time that was spent chanting my mantra of the moment when I could have been engaging in random associations of current perceptions with previously gathered data.


Please Respond! The ADHD Art Of Emailling

“ ... I've been one poor correspondent
I've been too, too hard to find

But that doesn't mean you ain't been on my mind ... ”
Sister Golden Hair ~ 1975 Gerry Beckley

There is no reason to expect someone with ADHD to respond to your emails. Of course, there's no reason to think that they won't, either. Sound conflicting? It gets more so.

No two ADHDers are alike. We all have a pool of symptoms to draw on. We all have some of those symptoms. And while we may share a large number of symptoms with someone else, there is no way that we will share them to the same degree.


Sensitivity: An Itchy ADHD Issue

Too much information? It gets worse, read on ...
You know I'm a sensitive guy. I worry about people. I worry about whether or not they need help with something that they're not admitting to. I worry that they need something I could provide, but they're afraid to ask. I worry, I worry a lot. But I'm also sensitive to irritants. No, I'm not talking about people who suffer from delusions of normalcy, I worry about them more than I'm irritated by them. I'm talking about labels in clothes and perfume and iron-on graphics on shirts and cheap socks that twist in odd ways. These are the things that irritate me. These are the things I'm sensitive to.


The Price Of ADHD Is Not Knowing The Rules

In all honesty, in all fairness, if you're looking to me to help you understand ADHD, to help you learn about how it affects and impacts a life, then I should be letting you see behind the curtain a bit more.

For starters, it may look like I post with a responsible regularity, but I assure you, it doesn't appear that way from my side of the “Publish” button. My saving grace is my anxiety which is driven by a need for acceptance. I can be overwhelmed with other obligations and set them aside in order to write a post and publish it on time, or reasonably close to on time.

There are times when I will start to write half an hour before my self imposed deadline. And some of those posts rank as some of my best work. Still other posts are written a week in advance. I tell you this in the interest of transparency, honesty. I have ADHD. And I'm writing about ADHD, about having ADHD. I owe you this much.


It’s Halloween, The Perfect Time To Have ADHD

There are days in the life of every ADHDer when they wonder why they were born. Why did they need to be put into this world to suffer the indignities that are visited upon them so very often. Embarrassment, ridicule, punishment, misunderstanding, all this and more is S.O.P., part of an ADHDer's everyday life. Yes, there are days …

And there are good days also, though they get fewer and farther between as we grow up, grow older, start to see that no one gets out of life alive and the days we have left to retrieve our dignity are dwindling.


As A Matter Of Fact The World Does Revolve Around Me!

I just spent half an hour talking to someone about conforming or not conforming. We talked about whether ADHD means that he can or can't do a job that is confining and restrictive. And, although it wasn't mentioned verbatim, we talked about whether he could continue in a relationship that has been an ongoing challenge for him.

I'm not naming names, and I'm not talking anymore about this conversation, except to say that it reminded me of three revelations I had when I was younger, before I knew I had ADHD.

The first revelation was that, yes, the world did in fact revolve around me. The second one was an extension of the first: everyone's world revolves around them. We are all alike in this respect. We can have sympathy and even empathy for others, we can make Olympian efforts to put ourselves in other people's shoes. But we don't need to do that for ourselves, we're already living our lives. We know to what extent the other people we would try to understand are in our world. We do not know to what extent we are in their worlds.


Big Announcement: Last Week Was ADHD Awareness Week

Okay, you all knew that. We all knew that. If we didn't know before it happened, then we certainly were made aware of it during.

I, for one, had it sneak up on me. I found out about a week and a half before it happened. I wasn't ready.
But did I make up for it?
I wasn't ready and I didn't jump on the band wagon (I couldn't find my drum anyway). I did post my feelings on awareness in Friday's post last week. And I did use “ADHD Awareness Week” in the title. But that was written … last Thursday night.


When Your Back’s To The Wall, Turn Your Back To The Crowd

Distractions, they're my nemesis, the bane of my existence. They sometimes make conversation with me a long, tedious thing for those engaged in them with me. I try to be fairly focused when talking to people, but that doesn't mean that I don't insert random, unnecessary observations.

In instances where I've met someone socially, you couldn't get a decent history of our conversation from either myself or my victim. I can't remember and they either are in the same boat or they are non-ADHDers, which means they probably couldn't keep up with my whirling Rolodex of sentence fragments and random topics.


ADHD Awareness Week, What That Means To Me

I didn't read The New York Times piece titled “Ritalin Gone Wrong” when it came out in the paper. I don't get the Times, or any other paper anymore. Luckily, Dr. Ned Hallowell caught it and gave it the attention that it deserved.
What to do …
Or maybe it didn't deserve any attention from Dr' Hallowell. I'm always torn between thinking garbage like the Times piece should either not be dignified with an answer or the author of such drivel should be verbally pilloried and then beaten senseless with a copy or twelve of their unscrupulous work

My local paper, published here in my home town, used to come to my door everyday, but it piled up and I realized that someone other than myself could be recycling these copies, and they might actually read them first. So it hasn't enraged me in years, it rarely did even when people drew my attention to stories within its homey, folksy pages.