Mandatory Carriage for ADHD Part I

When you’re boating there are certain things you are required to have on board. The length of the boat and the number of passengers determines what you’re required to carry on board. One term used to identify these things is “mandatory carriage.”

As an ADHDer there are some things I absolutely need to have on my person or within easy reach. I call this “Kelly’s ADHD mandatory carriage.”

Some of the things I never use, they’re more for peace of mind, but that’s a cheap price to pay. The peace is sometimes illusory, not needing to worry about one thing doesn’t mean I won’t worry about others.


ADHD: There’s No Time Like The Future

Well, it’s been more than a week since I discussed the relationship between ADHD and time. How did that happen?

Okay, you’re right, I should apologize ... but I’m not going to. Yes, I know that the first two posts last week discussed this very relationship, but last week was also last month. (I know that’s a bit of a reach, but I really want to write this post.  Impulsive of me, wouldn’t you say?)

On Monday, July 23rd I said: “It’s the same part of my mind that still wonders what I should be when I grow up.” On Wednesday, July 25th I said: “I don’t worry about whether my time is running short.” And now I get to tell you why I don’t worry about whether my time is running short.

Better still, I get to tell that I actually don’t need to wonder what I should be when I grow up ... because I’ve decided.


Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days Of Summer

I like old songs. Well, I like a lot of old songs. I guess I’ve reached the age where some of the songs I haven’t liked when they came out are now old. But “Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days Of Summer,” by Nat King Cole – I like this one.

Unfortunately the words in the title were often applied to people like us.

I disliked being called hazy, or foggy or spacey. I was sometimes in a world of my own, but I was rarely in a haze. Often my mind was creating worlds where things were different from reality. Calling me hazy just made me change the criteria in my imagined worlds to exclude people who judged me without knowing what I was doing.

I understand how I could have looked like I was in a haze, but is it fair to think of me as spacey or foggy or hazy just because I’m not paying attention to the world where others dwell?


Wednesday, 10AM: Revisited …

Have you ever had one of those days? Have you ever had a day when everything seems to go wrong? I had a day that had a weeks worth of wrongs yesterday.

I put my boat in the water finally, and it started up just fine, ran wonderfully smooth and then overheated and stalled out.

The gauges checked out fine, but there was smoke coming out of the engine room. It isn’t actually a room, it’s a space under the deck, just big enough for the engine and little else.

There’s no room to work comfortably on the thing. Believe me, I’ve had to do a few things to it, and they all required me to almost stand on my head.


Brain Fog: Small Transitions Are As Bad As Large Ones

I love the smell of lumber. I love the feel of it too. There are few things more satisfying than making a good clean cut in a nice straight two-by-four.

There’s only this one little problem, there’s no such thing as a straight two-by-four. There are very few straight four-by-fours either.
Mind you, I’m not complaining ...
This lack of straight lumber is why I have a job. If lumber were perfectly straight and square, no one would need a contractor. Lumber would snap together perfectly. You could buy the lengths you needed and even the angle cuts would already be supplied.

At work the other day we had a deck post that had a twist in it. It wasn’t something you’d notice with just a glance. But when I put the end of the railing against it to screw-nail it in place, there was an obvious difference between my square cut rail and the twisted side of the post. I was at a loss, sometimes the screw-nail will draw the wayward piece into line. Not this four-by-four though, it was having none of my screw-gun based reform.


ADHD: It’s Always About Time!

In Monday’s post I mentioned that it felt like I still had all the time in the world. I have no intention of getting into a discussion about life after death or reincarnation here.

My belief is that I can’t make something true just by sermonizing. And without proof, I’m unwilling to attempt to mislead anyone out of fear that this would be the one time someone might believe me.

But in the middle of this life, in the middle of this year and this month and this week and this day ... I still feel like I have all the time I need.


ADHD: It’s Still About Time!

In Canada, we have a folk goddess named Joni Mitchell. I hope you’ve heard of her, she is one of our national treasures.

She played Woodstock. (Note: A reader, NDJ, has commented on this post, pointing out that Mitchell never attended Woodstock. Click the link below to read the comments.) Many of her songs have been covered by artists around the world. And she is my number one favorite professional Canadian singer/songwriter.

One of her older songs is called "The Circle Game."  In one of the verses she mentions that in teenage years people live life fast but older folks tell them that they will reach a point when they will be dragging their feet, trying to “slow the circles down.”


Some People Want To Help, But They Don’t Know How

There are people who insult with intent, and there are people who insult with the best of intentions.

And there are people who insult because they had the best of intentions but have become frustrated with the lack of progress they’ve made on “fixing” the problem.

People who insult with intent are just people who don’t have the ability or ambition to better themselves, so they choose to belittle those around them in order to feel better about themselves. It’s a sort of bell curve deal where they try to lower their perceived grade of those around them so that they will actually seem more competent and capable. Those are the obvious insulters.


From Procrastinate To Overdo – Let’s Find The Happy Medium

You can’t beat a summer weekend for fun. And I’ve had three great ones in a row. The first one I don’t remember at all. See, I told you it was great.

Oh, wait, I remember that I took my friend to the farmer’s market and we bought trout. I remember that because we barbecued it on cedar planks that we soaked in water. That was new for us, but we’ll remember it, it was very good.

What I do remember about that weekend is that it was very busy. And so was the next one, the weekend before last.


A Day In The ADHD Life … The McKinlay Family Reunion

Yesterday was Sunday, July 15th. Not wildly significant for most people. But it was also the third Sunday in the month of July. Again, still not significant ... but for me, for the last fifty years, this is the day reserved to honor my mother’s mother’s family.

The third Sunday of July is the McKinlay Reunion. Yesterday was the fiftieth occurrence of this phenomenon.

In the good old days we would arrive at noon and the lunch would be put out buffet style. We’d dine and dash out of doors to play with our cousins. Games would be organized by the adults and I once won a prize for being able to whistle immediately after eating a cracker.