So, you’re married to an ADHDer. You’ve hitched your cart to a shooting star that’s ricocheting all over the universe, a runaway locomotive with no regard for staying on the rails. You’ve thrown in with a one person gang of time-thieves who live for fun and instant gratification, a Robin Hood, of sorts, who steals from the organized and adds to the scattered clutter.
So what’s the down side?
Okay, it does sound a little doom and gloom, but it sounds like adventure too, doesn’t it? And yes, it can be. ADHDers bring that to relationships, along with spontaneity and excitement. And, oh that hyperfocus. When you’re the target of that, it can sweep you off your feet.
Forewarned is forearmed!
In fact, if a little bit of attention goes a long way with you, beware the ADHDer’s courting, you’ll be dazed for days, and when it lulls, the contrast will leave you feeling very much abandoned.
But back to the established partnership...
If you’re in a relationship with a person with ADHD, there are things you’ll need to be aware of to make it work. And since ADHDers don’t come with manuals (or maybe they do, but they’ve misplaced them) there are things they need to be aware of that they may not know either. Remember, many ADHDers aren’t diagnosed ’til later in life, they may not have had time to learn everything about their condition. And no two ADHDers are alike, so they’ll need to learn what symptoms they have and how those affect them.
So, if you’ve dedicated yourself to being the partner of an ADHDer, here’s the first rule to making it a success: learn as much as you can about your partner.