My Christmas Present to You

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.

I know I haven’t been very festive in my posts this December. I’ve tried, but as many of you know, I’ve had my reasons for not being cheerful. I'm not normally a Scrooge.

I can’t promise any improvement in the near future either, but I do promise I’ll try. That’s not my present to you, that’s just what I’m going to have to do to make my life better. And I appreciate all the comments and emails you’ve been offering, I’m accepting them as my presents from you all.

And my gift to you isn't my admiration of you, but you should all know that I do admire you, all of you. From the most depressed among you to the most optimistic, from the least organized to the most ordered, I feel I'm blessed to have found so many friends here.


The Twelve Days of ADHD, A Christmas Carol Just For Us

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve drummers drumming,
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,

Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!
You all know the song I’m sure. You’ll at least know the melody, if not all the words. Each line has a religious significance that I’m not going to bother itemizing here. It isn’t that I fear being politically incorrect, it’s just that I blog about ADHD, not faith or religion.
So what’s the twelve days of ADHD?
It occurred to me recently, that our lives are so fraught with manifestations of our ADHDishness, our symptoms, that we ought to have a holiday song all our own.

Having written the odd song that I’m rather proud of I took it upon myself to do just that, but I had trouble coming up with lyrics.


Inappropriate, Impulsive or Inspirational? You be the Judge!

I live in Canada. We call it the Great White North because of its annual covering of snow. In my part of Canada, that lasts three or four months.

We do have warm weather for five to seven months of the year. We also usually have one to four months of shoulder season, times when nights are chilly and days are cool.

These weather patterns aren’t exclusive to Canada. The northern states share my latitude and weather. But I’m not writing an exotic travelogue here.


ADHD Dating Website Profiles or How I Met Your Mother

I know, I’ve been dwelling a lot on relationships this month, a hazard of my personal situation. Loss makes you feel alone.

I also know I should be talking about the holidays and the stress they bring as a special gift for those of us with ADHD. But this post isn’t as far off the mark as you might think.
♪♫“Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas, without the one you love ...”♫♪♫
For those of us who are spending the holidays alone, the urge to “repair” this situation may be rather strong. And the new-age techno way of doing that is from the comfort of your home through online social networks that are geared toward matching you with that perfect someone.

While I’m not tempted to head out onto the info-bahn to find that perfect ether-mate – yet – I am willing to concede that it is an option for many of today’s lonely hearts.


Why Therapists Make the Best Girlfriends (or Boyfriends)

Okay, that’s inappropriate, and it’s a bad title. I have ADHD though, I’m prone to blurting out inappropriate things, ask any of my friends.

And yes, that title does imply a relationship that should never occur, bear with me. I know I’ve crossed a line, but I can explain. I’m thinking that a lot of what goes into being a good therapist is on the shortlist for an ADHDer’s partner.
So what makes a good therapist?
Several websites offer resources for those who wish to head off to therapy forewarned and forearmed. Here at Psych Central we have an article titled


My ADHD Stress This Holiday Season

I seem to be suffering from the most debilitating episode of anxiety. In the last two months I’ve been awakened three times in the night with excruciating chest pains. I swear it feels like I’m suffering cardiac failure, but no.

The holidays seem to be playing a roll here. I’m feeling the loss of my wife this month rather acutely. I’m not trying to downplay what I’ve felt up ‘til now, but I have to say that comparing my lot to those around me is making me feel the strain a bit more.


An ADHD Letter to Santa

Dear Santa:

Last year, in my previous blog, I wrote to you and said:
“And I think, if you’re willing to consider my request, that I have the perfect Christmas gift to ask you for. It would be a very useful thing for me, but it’s not just for me. It would help others across the country, across the continent and around the world. It would help not just those of us with ADHD, but those people who love us and want to understand what’s going on.”
I went on to ask for the ADHD equivalent of the moon:
“For Christmas, I’d like you to bring ADHD awareness to the world. I know there are bigger problems; AIDS, cancers, wars and crime. But I think that if we could resolve some of the problems surrounding the lives of those of us with ADHD, we could all work together on these other things.
I realize now that I might have been asking too much of you. I’m aware that the world isn’t really listening to you so much anymore.


Persist, Pursue, Persevere: ADHD Life Skills Requirements

Sometimes you wonder. I mean, sometimes you just have to wonder. How did I make it here? How did I survive? I'm telling you, I've been beaten, battered and abused, and I keep going. I keep going for two reasons.
I'm nothing if not persistent
First, it's my nature to persevere. I'm not about to quit, I've left things undone.

Yeah, I know, leaving things undone is an ADHD thing. It isn't a lack of responsibility, if anything, it's being hyper-responsible. I'll be distracted by something I know needs my attention and that causes me to forget the thing I was giving my attention to.

I do keep going back to the things I've left undone, at least mentally, and I know there are lots of them so I have to keep going. I'm responsible for finishing this stuff.

Adult ADHD

Stuck in the Middle With ADHD

In the year 2009, I thought all was well. I was married and working at odd jobs. My wife and I were able to support ourselves comfortably. We had been married for 25 years.

My wife’s health was such that she needed companionship nearly constantly, and over the last ten or so of those 25 years I was that companion. In the course of our marriage I would estimate that we spent as much time together as a couple that had been married for 40 years. In the two years since 2009, I have been diagnosed with ADHD and in the last four months I’ve lost my wife and taken on the job of writing for Psych Central as the ADHD Man of DistrAction.
Good timing? Hardly ...


ADHD Shame, Why I Hate Being Me

On Wednesday I told you why I was proud to stand among you. I think I’m going to dedicate today to talking about the burdens that I bear. The ones that have made me stronger. These are my problems. You may share some or all of them, and you may have more of your own. Let’s see.

I’m at my computer making a note about one of the things that upsets me about my ADHD. I’d like to say that I came into my office to do that, but really I came into my office to do ... something ... that I can’t quite recall.

I tried all the usual methods of retrieval, I scratched my head, I checked my email, I opened seventeen tabs in my browser, I swore at myself for being an idiot – all to no avail.

This is one of the things about ADHD that I hate. I don’t hate that it happens, I hate that it happens fifty times a day.