Anger, The Big Bang Theory – ADHD Style

It still happens, I'm minding my own business and something or someone interrupts me. The result? I explode. What’s up with that?

I always thought of myself as laid-back before my diagnosis. I thought I was the most easy-going guy I knew. Well, that was clearly not possible, since I was the one person in my circle of acquaintances that I really, truly didn't know.

Turns out that laid-back and easy-going were qualities that I admired, and therefore I wishfully attributed them to myself. I was even able to cite examples to prove my carefree nature. Hadn't I managed to keep my cool when I burnt toast ... every day? Wasn't I able to take it all in stride when I ran out of gas, forgot to pay my bills, lost my datebook, my car keys, my wallet, my way ...?


The Role of Lists In The ADHD Life

Assistance or Distraction?

“I made a list of all my piles and put it on the pile of all my lists, now if I can find that pile of lists I'll know what all these piles are ...” ~ @kbriter – twitter comment
Aren't lists great? We make them, we hold on to them, file them, cross things off on them, and love them. They itemize our lives in bullet point format. They hold us to schedules and remind us of deadlines. They rule!


Okay, I admit that I don't always get results from lists. I often make too many of them, or make confusing ones, and I'm always misplacing them. I've gotten into the habit of putting my current list in my watch pocket of my jeans. (That's that little pocket above the main pocket that you keep your right hand in when you're trying to look cool and nonchalant.) And yes, I've laundered a few lists in my time.

Do you want a life?

If I live by my list, I don't have a life, I have a list. If I use the list as a guide, I have a life.
I find that a list can be a wonderful tool, so long as I respect it as a tool and am not a slave to it. If I live by my list, I don't have a life, I have a list. If I use the list as a guide, I have a life. And within that life I have a list of things whose completion will make my life easier or better in some way.


Confessions Of A Modern Day Prophet

or Why I’ll never be rich – or poor!

My psychologist tells me I need to work on my boundaries. She tells me that I may be too willing to give of myself to others. I see something that needs doing and I step into it. I told her (I think I told her ... ) that’s the way I was raised (it is the way I was raised you know ... ).

And anyway, she broke up with me last week. What does she know? Okay, she didn’t break up with me, we’re on a break. No, that still doesn’t sound right, she wants me to give life a try on my own, working without a net so to speak. And I know I can do it, it’s just a little harder.
Talk is cheap
I’m not sure if you, my dear reader, are aware of the fact that I use self dialogue to examine my life. I do. Apparently it’s an ADHD thing ... though not all of us do it (or maybe not all of us admit to it?). I talk to myself plenty.

It’s easier to have a conversation if you’re not alone, so in that self dialogue I usually play several roles to facilitate talking to myself. Antagonist, protagonist, devils advocate, shocked bystander ... you get the picture, right?


Confession – Good For The ADHD Soul

They say that confession is good for the soul, and heaven knows my tortured ADHD soul could use some good. On Wednesday I confessed to having an appointment. I had one, but I didn't know where or who with or what about ... and I haven't found out yet. That's torture.

Writing about it relieved a lot of my stress. It was like I was confessing to whomever I was letting down ... or at least I was putting my confession out there where they could read it if they wished.

I was not absolved, not made innocent by it, but still, I felt better.


Wednesday at Ten – An Appointment With ADHD Hell

Oh dear. I've done it now. I have an appointment today at 10 AM. It's important to note that I know this, in light of what I'm about to confess.

My confession is this: I don't know what my appointment is about. “You'll find out when you get there ...” I can hear you all saying. (Kelly sighs dramatically) Yes, I'll find out when I get there ... if I get there.
More true confessions ...
Okay, confession number two. I'm not sure where this appointment is to take place. I didn't write down the topic or the location anywhere. I'm feeling a little embarrassed about the whole thing and I'd like to drop the subject. I'd like to just quit thinking about it, but I can't. Thoughts of it are just nagging me. And I hate being nagged by my thoughts.


A Bad Time! And ADHD Doesn’t Help

I’ve struggled lately. Many of you know my situation. My wife’s passing left me alone just a few weeks before I took on the task of writing this blog. I’ve struggled with loss and loneliness. Magnified by the lens of grief, day to day life presents its trials and tribulations with all the pomp and pizazz of a world class stage show.

These problems, though not insurmountable, do appear to be just that. From where I sit today, I can tell you this sense of being blocked from making progress passes.

I know this because many things I thought I couldn’t deal with are now dealt with, and others that looked foreboding now present themselves simply as things that need to be taken care of ... soon.


ADHD? Let Me Sleep On That … ZZZZZZZZZ

I'm exhausted. I'd like to say I've been working hard. I have been working. I just haven’t been working harder than usual.

Truth is, I didn't sleep well last night. The mice were running in the wheel inside my head when I went to bed. And I think maybe that squeaky axle needs a little grease.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm a liar
I'm always saying I don't have trouble sleeping, and I don't – usually. Trouble sleeping is one of the more common ADHD traits, but one I rarely have to deal with. When I do have trouble, I usually know why. Stress!

Adult ADHD

The Best ADHD Deadline is No Deadline

The word dichotomy keeps popping up in my mind. I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago called Dichotomy; ADHD Style and though I knew I hadn’t covered all the possible oxymoronic quirks of this disorder of mine, I didn’t think I missed anything glaringly important ...

But today, I was thinking about my reactions to different jobs that I’ve been given. I’m fully aware that I respond differently to being given jobs based on whether the job itself interests me.

How much admiration or respect I have for the person who assigns the task is also a factor. But all things being equal, I’ve discovered there is another issue.


The Fallacy Of Organization In The ADHD World

A little while ago I was doing some work in a friend's office. It’s a rather cluttered and disorganized space. That makes it frustrating to work in, but I never judge and I never complain about spaces like that. I can’t, my work space is no less of a mess, it’s just my mess. I know my way around my own mess.

As I was shifting some things around, I came across a plastic crate with the label “OTHER” on it.

I burst out laughing. There were maybe four of these crates in a stack. This was the only one with a label on it, and the label was so ambiguous it was funny.


Where Do You Live? My ADHD Life

Having ADHD means I live in a fast, tumultuous current of high-speed thoughts. And that can mean not having time to gather my thoughts and contemplate them as a whole. You've maybe heard me talk about our lack of self awareness? Maybe? This is a big part of it, not being able to collect my thoughts, not being able to analyze them.
I like the night life
I try to do that at night. When I go to bed I think “What did you do today? What did you think about? What did you learn? What could you have learned?” And then, in answer to these questions, I respond: “ ..... zzzzzzzzzzzz ....”
Except for the differences, we're exactly the same
Yes, I know, an anomaly. I'm supposed to have trouble sleeping. My mind whirling around should keep me awake for awhile, right? Sorry. We ADHDers weren't cut out with a biscuit cutter. I lie awake tossing and turning for 15, sometimes 20 ... seconds. Then I'm gone. I can't help it.