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ADHD

The ADHD Gift/Curse … Again?


Some say ADHD is a gift. Some say it’s a curse. We’ve had this discussion before. Many say it’s a gift with serious issues, and others say it’s a curse with some bright spots.
I say ... Enough!
I’ve weighed in on this issue before and my final judgment was that ADHD is a set of symptoms, problems really, that cause complications in my life.

These complications have had definite negative effects. But they also cause me to think differently, and that allows me to see things from a different angle, in a different light.
Up side, down side ...
Sometimes this skewed vision allows me to solve puzzles that others struggle with. Sometimes it leaves me looking like an ass. Sometimes I’m too self involved to be able to tell you which situation I’m in at the moment.


Seeking The ADHD Truth

If you’re planning to move your family always look for a rock facing north. These offer the nicest neighborhoods. If you can’t afford a rock in this price range, look for a north facing crack edge on an east or west facing rock.
The internet offers a great, potential benefit to those of us who seek information on ADHD. There are, of course, problems with misinformation on the “infobahn,” however it also offers us the wherewithal, usually, to determine the truth. How very much like the real world.
But how do we tell what's true?
When I was a child, it was pretty clear cut. If you heard it in the school room, from your grandparents or parents, or read it in a text book it was true. If you heard it out back of the school, from a friend while out camping or hiking, or read it on the back of a comic book, it was probably suspect (I’m still waiting for my real two-man submarine and my x-ray glasses, I’ve sent changes of address every time I’ve moved).

So the internet is like the real world, an extension of the same, if you will. There are things that are true or factual, and things that are patently false.
Note that I distinguished between true and factual


ADHD

ADHD And Humor – That’s Not News


Is it possible that putting more than one ADHDer in the same place might be counterproductive?

About a month ago I attended an ADDiva Webinar. I got into a private chat with another attendee who knows me. The fact that I am a divo and not a diva is not obvious at these webinars, but some of the participants know that I'm a guy and I don't hide the fact.

These webinars are available for replay. Thank heaven for that.

The private chat was not on topic, in fact it was like an excerpt from a burlesque comedy routine. Much of it was centered around my gender, a naughty conversation about me being found out.


ADHD

ADHD, It’s About Time!


“I remember that movie,” my boss said, “how did it start? I missed the beginning of it ... ”

I looked at her, she looked at me, and we laughed.
How did I get here?
It’s been an unusual progression. My marriage afforded me with an executive function, my wife’s. This meant that I always had things to do. After her passing, I was left at loose ends, as they say.

I ended up helping out at a local café in exchange for a place to write and hang out in the day.


ADHD

Positive Thinking ADHD Style


It's easy for us to be down. Part of the diagnosis for ADHD stipulates that there must be evidence that one's symptoms cause persistent negative interference with regards to school, work, and social interaction throughout one's life.

We all know about persistent negative interference, right?

A comment by “Anonymous” last week reminded me how easy it is for us to be depressed. I've been there. Things that would bother a norman briefly can weigh on us like an anchor. And things that are specific to ADHD are constant burdens. Like compound interest, our ADHD problems make non-ADHD problems worse.


ADHD

ADHD Answering Machine Blues

When I call someone, I'm not expecting an answering machine. And I often get an answering machine (Yes, I'm aware that most answering machines are actually answering services, I'm old, until last year I still had a rotary dial phone).
Kelly – speechless??
So what happens when my call is answered by a machine or answering service? I usually hang up. Why? Well, I've given this some thought. I dial the phone after rehearsing the script of talking to the person I'm calling. I have not rehearsed a one-sided message for an answering machine. I can’t keep two potential conversations in my mind even if one of them is one sided.
It's a type of transition, and It flusters me
I've actually tried to leave a message and ended up leaving what I perceive to be a garbled mess of uninformative gibberish. On one memorable occasion of trying to leave a message, I called back 20 seconds later to clarify what I had been trying to say – I left more gibberish I think. I ended up leaving the person I was calling with the perception that I was crowding them.


ADHD

Still Climbing After All These ADHD Years


I climb on things – all the time. I have no idea why, no idea what the attraction is. I’ve tried to figure it out.

I know I like adventure, but that’s why I cook, that’s why I read and go to the movies, that’s why I buy lottery tickets ... when I remember to.

Climbing on things, around things, over and under things, that’s adventure too, but it’s not just adventure.

Okay, there might be a hint more adventure involved. I do like hard to reach places, I love the unique view I get from the middle of the river. If I can get there without getting wet, that’s better. Still, there’s more to it than just adventure.

When I was young I loved to climb the spruce trees out in front of my home. I loved to sit quietly, looking down at my house. I remember being up so high I could see both sides of the steeply pitched roof of my home below me. These giant trees were at least 70 feet tall, and I was well up there, maybe 50 feet, maybe higher.


ADHD

Two Rules For Being Married To An ADHDer

So, you’re married to an ADHDer. You’ve hitched your cart to a shooting star that’s ricocheting all over the universe, a runaway locomotive with no regard for staying on the rails. You’ve thrown in with a one person gang of time-thieves who live for fun and instant gratification, a Robin Hood, of sorts, who steals from the organized and adds to the scattered clutter.

So what’s the down side?

Okay, it does sound a little doom and gloom, but it sounds like adventure too, doesn’t it? And yes, it can be. ADHDers bring that to relationships, along with spontaneity and excitement. And, oh that hyperfocus. When you’re the target of that, it can sweep you off your feet.

Forewarned is forearmed!

In fact, if a little bit of attention goes a long way with you, beware the ADHDer’s courting, you’ll be dazed for days, and when it lulls, the contrast will leave you feeling very much abandoned.

But back to the established partnership...

If you’re in a relationship with a person with ADHD, there are things you’ll need to be aware of to make it work. And since ADHDers don’t come with manuals (or maybe they do, but they’ve misplaced them) there are things they need to be aware of that they may not know either. Remember, many ADHDers aren’t diagnosed ’til later in life, they may not have had time to learn everything about their condition. And no two ADHDers are alike, so they’ll need to learn what symptoms they have and how those affect them.

So, if you’ve dedicated yourself to being the partner of an ADHDer, here’s the first rule to making it a success: learn as much as you can about your partner.


ADHD

Does ADHD Build Character?


You know, having an ADHD friend may be a mistake. We can’t be counted on to be on time. Ha, sometimes we can’t be counted on to show up at all. We’ll forget your birthday. We’ll forget dinner dates. We’ll forget to gas up your car when we borrow it.

Hell, we might forget we borrowed your car in the first place.

A cousin of mine married a man who may or may not be one of us, but I’m giving him an honorary diagnosis (I can do that right? It’s part of my membership kit, a certificate that allows me to initiate others into our family???). They were leaving their home on the east coast to come to the center of the continent for a visit.


ADHD

ADHD Man of DistrAction Runs Away From Home


One of my greatest pleasures in life is riding my motorcycle. At 53 years of age I am proud to lay claim to 45 years of biking.

My father taught me to drive a motorcycle when I was eight years old. I couldn’t reach the gear shift lever so he changed gears for me from the back seat of his 80cc Suzuki scooter. The adventurous ADHDer in me was up for a ride any time of any day.
Nothing’s changed.
These days I ride whenever I can. I ride with friends, but I’ll ride alone if no one else is going.