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What’s Wrong With Focus? What’s Right With Distraction?

This is close to what my main street looks like these days

The other day I had an unhappy task, the ending of a friendship. It wasn’t my choice, yet it was.

I had helped this friend at times, at least I like to think I had. And my friend had helped me.

But a time came when I was asked not to contact that friend. I was hurt, and reacted badly. It was not a good time to lose a friend, I had lost my wife five months earlier.

When I say I reacted badly, I mean via email. As soon as I clicked the send button I regretted it. My sentiment was honest, but I could have entertained that sentiment without sharing.

4 Comments to
What’s Wrong With Focus? What’s Right With Distraction?

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  1. I think one of the blessings of ADHD can be (sometimes) my openness to helping someone spontaneously or having a spur of the moment deeper conversation that goes past the weather. True, the root of this is distractability but maybe loving other people by being ourselves is what we are here to do. Thanks for helping the lady. I’m glad you did.

    • Thanks for your perspective, Karen. We are what we are and we each have our own strengths to draw on. Best if we use everything we can, eh?

      Thanks for reading and commenting,

  2. sensitivity to other’s feelings hasn’t worked well for me, i have two really close friends who are always confiding in me, and i get too involved in their problems. to the point where one of my friend’s dad hates me. yet when i confided in them about ADHD i was was ignored or made fun of for being too easily distracted, i didn’t bother reminding her that this is a symptom of ADHD and it’s not my fault. they complain about my distractibility as if i chose to be that way.
    i went off topic there for a bit, my point was i feel that my friends only call me when they are in need of advice or someone to listen. but when they don’t need me i hardly hear from them. so i stop contacting them too. i have lost many friends this way and this makes me think i’ll never have life long friends.

    • Hi regina,
      The issue with your failing friendships would seem to be that your friends have failed, not you. And since you weren’t the failure, I urge you, don’t be any less of a friend to the next one. There are friends out there worth the effort, I have some of them.

      Sadly, I do know that there are people who will not maintain a presence in your life if they don’t need you. I have known people like that. Even some of our own will walk away when you could really use their support. Don’t let these losses turn you away from meeting and befriending others. In the end, you can only control the kind of friend you are, it is up to them to decide what kind of friend they will be.

      Thank you for reading my blog and for commenting,


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