“Is often forgetful in daily activities (e.g., doing chores, running errands; for older adolescents and adults, returning calls, paying bills, keeping appointments).” ~ the last symptom listed in the inattentive symptoms for ADHD in the DSM5
How is your memory these days? Are you feeling like it could be better? Is it worse than it used to be? Or do you feel it does not compare favorably to the memory of those around you?
All fair questions, and yet, with the exception of the quote above, ADHD does not require a bad memory.
So why can I not remember shizzle?
And I’m not talking about that which is listed in the quote above. I can get to the end of my day and have my partner ask how it went doing the thing and suddenly realize that I didn’t do the thing, I did a bunch of things, many of them were things that I intended to do and many of them were things I spontaneously did that were unintended but still good but I still forgot THE thing.
But along with that is the knowledge that when THE thing is mentioned by my partner, I know it, I remember that it was a thing that was to be done.
But then there’s the other thing
I’ve arrived late for appointments and even believed I was on time. I’ve gone to my doctor’s office for a three o’clock appointment only to be told that my appointment was actually for 1:30. I don’t suddenly say, “Oh yeah, it was 1:30, wasn’t it?” Nope. I can’t say that it was 1:30 despite the evidence in front of me.
And there are times when I am told about something I’ve done, or said, and the person telling me is not someone I distrust. And even if they were, there’s no percentage in it, there is no advantage to them to tell me these things. And I can even track down proof that they are telling the truth …
But I don’t remember!
I know of others with ADHD who have memory problems of this type. And the oddest thing is that I have an amazing memory when it comes to things that I do remember.
What’s more, it isn’t selective. I don’t forget things that are unimportant any more than I forget things that are important. They can be long past or last week. They can be significant for their seeming grandeur or they can be obscure.
They all collectively have only one thing in common, I forgot them.
And even when I’m told of them, even when they are proven to be, I still have no memory of them.
I wonder if I’ve written about this before?