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ADHD Brain On Shuffle


musical swears
Take that!

I used to love my mind and the music it had constantly playing in the background.

I think the person who invented elevator music was probably one of us.  I mean, music, just playing, constantly, to keep you calm or keep you from getting bored with the ride? How clever.

It’s like a sound track for the trip from one floor to another

And remember mall music … back when we could go to the mall … that was similar, though it was contrived to keep loiterers from loitering and to keep shoppers moving so they wouldn’t over think their shopping decisions.

So what’s on my mind?

I have no idea who controls the music in my head. There are times when I tune in to it and listen all day long, and there are times when my mind is stuck on one segment of a line and it plays it over and over.

And the worst part is that the second time I heard it on the old cranial PA I had already grown to hate it.

But

It gets so much worse. It’s an ear worm. But I externalize what’s in my mind. I spend a lot of time alone, and I talk to myself, a lot, out loud, hey, don’t judge. So now it’s an ear worm that is outside my head

I remember one time I was putting some flooring down in my mother’s house, and I had some song stuck in my head. I was concentrating on measurements and cutting, and it was playing over and over, not the whole song, just the last half of the chorus.

About half way through the job I became aware that I was singing it out loud. I tried to stop, but I had to keep returning my attention to the task at hand. Every time I did that I let my guard down and the words and melody started to flow out of my mouth again.

Finally …

I bellowed out the words, at the top of my lungs, adding vulgar expletives and rude adjectives into the lyrics.

My mother, in the next room, laughed at my trauma. I looked out through the door, angry at my predicament, and saw that she understood completely. I couldn’t help myself, I laughed with her.

And …

It went away. Oddly enough when that particular song comes up in the rotation, I only remember the one part with the worst swearing and once I’ve recited it, my brain moves on.

I love my mind. I love the things it does. I love that it reels out these words I write and still in the background the music plays. When I’m tired of listening I turn on the radio and that takes over.

But I don’t need the radio most of the time. My mind spins tracks all day long. And when it gets into a rut, I know now how to fix it.

And I know some really great swear words these days.

ADHD Brain On Shuffle


Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live on the traditional lands of the Chippewas of Nawash in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or 7 generations and my First Nations friend's families go back hundreds of generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I am a freelance writer and I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about living with ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2020). ADHD Brain On Shuffle. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 20, 2020, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2020/07/adhd-brain-on-shuffle/

 

Last updated: 13 Jul 2020
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.