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You Know That Thing That Needs To Be Done?

insulation and subfloor on slab
Insulate the floor? I can do that …

You know that thing that needs to be done in your house?

The one your spouse wants you to hire someone to do?

That thing that is maybe in the realm of the professional repair person?

And you can clearly see what needs doing and it’s on your mind all the time?

Yeah, that thing!

I know what you’re talking about. My life used to be like that.

And now I’m going to brag.

Through a series of circumstances, some of them admittedly sad and unfortunate, I have become one of those people that knows way more about things that are usually in the realm of the professional.

The sad parts…

Nine years ago my spouse passed away. That meant a lot of things to me, lonely was part of the meaning. But looking back at that now it wasn’t the only thing that changed.

There was now no one to tell me to “get a professional” when things needed to be done. I was inquisitive, adventurous, and unsupervised.

But then there was this …

A good friend decided, after I’d been mourning for some time, that the time had come when I was going to start working for him. He is a contractor. He and I had done several projects together working on my home with my late wife’s approval.

I packed my bag and off we went to his summer work area and hour north of home. We worked side by side and we worked hard on a lot of things. I learned. I got paid. I got confident.

I can do it

There are things that I realize I should be supervised for, but some of those things I now do on my own and get someone else to check for me later.

And a lot of things I would never have known were possible are now things I just go ahead and do. I got the tricks and the knowledge in my back pocket.

And I have ADHD, right?

Yes. Yes I do.

So spontaneous fixing happens often now in my house.

Okay, okay …

It’s true that I sometimes start things and then don’t finish them. It isn’t that they didn’t get finished so much as they haven’t gotten finished yet.

But I know better than to say that they will get finished or to give a date for that to happen.

I can pick out the things that I am fairly sure I’ll finish, you know, usually … I hope.

But the good thing is

I am again in a relationship. And the good part is that I entered this relationship with these skills. And my partner now has never had any doubts about my abilities. Or if she has doubts, she doesn’t share them often.

She’ll ask, “Can you do that?” and if I answer, “Yes.” she’ll just turn me loose on whatever the task was.

So, you know that thing that needs to be done? Well, I’m working on it right now.

And my life is the best life I can imagine for a person like me, a person with ADHD.

You Know That Thing That Needs To Be Done?

Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live on the traditional lands of the Chippewas of Nawash in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or 7 generations and my First Nations friend's families go back hundreds of generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I am a freelance writer and I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about living with ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man

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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2020). You Know That Thing That Needs To Be Done?. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 23, 2020, from


Last updated: 9 Jun 2020
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