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Don’t Judge, But …

glasses
I see …

When you have ADHD, you know what it’s like to be judged. I spend a lot of time remembering that from school, from work, from social connections.

It’s taken me to a place in my life where I am constantly keeping my guard up, constantly watching what I do, and constantly examining my actions.

And yes, at the age of sixty-one, it has helped.

Between my knowing and admitting immediately the fact that I have ADHD and the subsequent acceptance of my actions, and my policing myself and my actions aggressively, I have achieved a point in my life where I can accept my ADHD.

But I cannot live as if it didn’t exist!

And I never will

I have ADHD and that is my life.

But something my partner reminded me of yesterday has made me think it’s time to restate one fact, and take a look at it in a different light.

Actually, she told me I should write about this and I said, “Hell yeah. That’s brilliant!”

For my partner

She arrived home from work yesterday and I asked her if she’d picked up my new glasses.

She suddenly looked devastated. She confessed that yes she had picked them up but had left them at work. She had totally forgotten about them until that very minute.

She couldn’t stop apologizing, no matter what I said. And trust me, I was very understanding.

Why?

Really? You need to ask? Because it’s something I would have done. And feeling bad about it would also be what I would have done.

And I said so.

And she said, “Everyone has ADHD symptoms.” which told me that she has been listening to me when I talk.

Yes!

“Yes they do,” I said, “It’s just a matter of intensity and frequency.”

And in truth, it makes me feel better about myself when I see examples of those symptom manifestations in the neuro-typical crowd.

I mean, I still have ADHD, always have and always will. But knowing that there is a way to explain it to those who do not have it and have them understand is really heartening and helpful.

And …

Knowing that people do understand if they are intelligent enough to consider these facts and caring enough to accept this truth means that the important people are the ones who see us for who we really are and what we are worth.

And the person who told me to write this post is one of those important people.

Thanks for reminding me that I am a valid member of society and of our household. You rock!

Don’t Judge, But …


Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live on the traditional lands of the Chippewas of Nawash in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or 7 generations and my First Nations friend's families go back hundreds of generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I am a freelance writer and I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about living with ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2020). Don’t Judge, But …. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 8, 2020, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2020/06/dont-judge-but/

 

Last updated: 19 Jun 2020
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.