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So, You Want To Make Me Cry


musical note
Musical messages from the inner me

I’ve written a few songs in my life. One was actually recorded by a folk group called Our Shotgun Wedding. I’m kind of proud of that.

I like my style of song writing too. Even though some of my music is darker, think heart break, not death and mayhem, it is usually mostly positively driven.

But in reviewing some of the lyrics I’ve written, I have recently discovered that my ADHD is very present in subtle ways.

Remember grade school?

Do you remember being centered out and teased when all you wanted was to be accepted?

Despite the fact that I usually recall my childhood as having been idyllic, I remember life in the school yard as often being fraught with terror and bullying. And that was solely because I was different. And I was different because I had ADHD.

What does that have to do with writing music?

Well …

The title of this blog post is a line from a song I wrote called, “Get In Line.” In fact, it’s the first line.

“The first part of the first verse goes:
So you want to make me cry
While they gather all around
To watch my tear drops spatter on the ground”

Now, this is sort of a love song, it’s addressed to someone who broke the singer’s heart but who has returned making romantic overtures.

It continues

The next lines are:
“If you want to hold me tight
Baby that’s just fine
But if you want to break my heart again get in line”

When I wrote these words, I envisioned a person explaining to a lost love that they couldn’t take any more heart ache, and that if that was the solicitous ex’s plan they could just line up with all the others who want to break hearts.

But this morning I was reading over these lines again.

And suddenly …

I saw myself at school, during recess, surrounded by people and being centered out once again.

And I thought, “How did this imagery not stand out to me before? How did I never notice this?”

Listen,

I swear this song was a love song. It goes on to reference dancing and doing things together, but the picture of the alternative is clearly me being punished by my so called peers for being me.

And since I wrote it, I must have really felt like losing in love was like being bullied at school.

Is that it?

I wonder is there more ADHD in all my songs? And I wonder is there maybe more of it in this particular song?

The last verse begins with a popular theme among ADHDers.

Let’s ride bikes!!!

“If you want to hit the road with me
And watch the miles go by
Just hang on tight we’ll make this old bike fly

“If you want me to love you
Just give me a sign
But if you want to break my heart again get in line”

And now, I’m going to go read a few more of my songs, apparently ADHD is really an embedded part of my life.

How many times does it show up in yours?

So, You Want To Make Me Cry


Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live on the traditional lands of the Chippewas of Nawash in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or 7 generations and my First Nations friend's families go back hundreds of generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I am a freelance writer and I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about living with ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2020). So, You Want To Make Me Cry. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 25, 2020, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2020/03/so-you-want-to-make-me-cry/

 

Last updated: 18 Mar 2020
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.