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I Have Secrets

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Really good secrets!

I totally have secrets. Things that no one knows about me.

For one thing, I never shut up. Well, I do, but I don’t. I’m always talking, often to myself, but sometimes I can get by with just talking to myself inside my head.

But I talk out loud enough that everything about me has been said by me at one time or another.

So, secrets? How?

How is it that I have secrets when I’m happily willing to tell anyone anything about myself?

Easy, people don’t really listen to me much. Ha. That’s not actually true.

It’s because I live at hyper speed and have experienced so much that I’m always going to have something that I didn’t tell someone.

But is that secrets?

Okay, no, not really. I guess my life is actually an open book.

But there’s a lot of pages.

And some of them are really boring.

And because I randomize everything in a distracted manner, the interesting bits are more than likely embedded in the middle of the boring bits.

And yes, I tell it all

I have ADHD. Hell, I write about it. Why wouldn’t I talk about it … to strangers … I’ve never met before and will likely never see again. Meh!

I’m an alcoholic. Sober now for 37 years, but still wanting that next drink.

I have health issues. Fibro, respiratory, cardiac (apparently).

I’m always busy, but not always doing the right thing.

I saw a meme

There’s a meme going around our community that says “I’d like to be mysterious, but I never shut up.”

As true as that may be about us, it is also somewhat wrong. We maybe never stop telling the world about ourselves (and not all of us are like that either), but we never stop creating stories to tell about our selves.

There are secrets about me yet, what am I going to do next? Where will my random interactions with distraction take me today? Why am I wearing two different colored socks, was it choice or accident or necessity?

The point is …

We often think we know how the world perceives us, we think they see what we see.

And we judge ourselves very harshly.

But trust me when I tell you that the world is mostly oblivious to our struggles and our flaws.

Mostly?

The few people who actively assess us negatively have one of two things in common, they are either under the impression that it is somehow their job to do so, managers, bosses, etc., or they are actually worried that they do not measure up themselves and are trying to draw attention to easily spotted shortfalls that they do not actually understand.

We, the people with ADHD, need to advocate on our own behalf to ourselves. We need to tell ourselves of our worth and sing our own praises.

And, we need to ignore those who would judge us harshly when they have no reason to.

But let’s just keep this our secret, okay?

I Have Secrets


Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2020). I Have Secrets. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 29, 2020, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2020/01/i-have-secrets/

 

Last updated: 10 Jan 2020
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.