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My Father’s Belt

belt
Belts have one purpose

I’ve been seeing a meme out there lately that suggests that ADHD is a behavioral problem.

And not only that, it suggests that ADHD can be remediated by abusive parenting methods.

And let me just tell you right up front, that would totally work … for a few minutes.

If you think that corporal punishment could “cure” ADHD, then what you’re about to read might actually be a bit too deep for you to comprehend.

But give it a try

I mean, you’ve got nothing to lose, right?

So, it works like this. Something needs to be a powerful influence on my mind in order to keep my attention. And yes, violence will certainly work for a little while.

But, if you’re thinking of trying to beat the ADHD out of someone, be prepared to make a career out of it, you’ll be in it for the long haul.

And, you’ll still fail in the end. You’ll get the person with ADHD to pay attention to you while you’re abusing them. But is that what you really wanted?

What was it you wanted?

I was in situations as a child where I was lectured at about paying attention when I’d forget to do something or when I’d lose interest and focus while doing something that should have been done in a few minutes, but hours had passed and I still wasn’t done.

And just so you know, to someone with ADHD, being lectured at is as painful as being physically punished.

But the fun thing (from this vantage point of old age) is that I could see the point and understand the desire of staying focused, but I could easily forget what it was I was supposed to be focused on even as I was being lectured. In fact, my mind could drift away from the lecture while it was going on.

So why not the belt?

When you’re teaching a dog, there is no point in explaining what you want the dog to learn. The dog cannot take it in because, despite how interested the dog appears to be in what you are saying, dogs do not communicate with words.

When you’re teaching a person with ADHD you have a distinct advantage, they do communicate with words. But you have a very short window of opportunity once you’ve gotten our attention. But, you do have an opportunity, and the words, if they are succinct and well chosen, will impact.

If you hit us with something, physically strike us, your words (excuse my language here, please) won’t mean shit to us. They will not have our attention, you will not teach us to focus.

Being physically punished will teach us to figure out how to avoid it. And trust me, the idea of doing something we cannot do (pay attention to things that don’t attract our attention) will never be the method of choice for that.

Listen,

I understand you want to pretend that ADHD doesn’t exist. There are days when I want that so badly. And you may well think that the meme in question is proof that it is just behavioral. But here’s the thing, you seem a little preoccupied with ADHD and the idiotic debate as to its validity (hint: it’s valid).

And I can’t help but wonder if your sharing of these memes is your way of drawing attention away from yourself, and belittling a fear you have at the same time.

Perhaps you need to consider the possibility that the reason you’re on social media sharing negative memes and not doing your own work is that you have some trouble focusing?

I’d get my father’s belt and try to help you, but he never used one, at least, he never used one on me.

My Father’s Belt


Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2019). My Father’s Belt. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 5, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2019/11/my-fathers-belt/

 

Last updated: 15 Nov 2019
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.