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The things I have to do

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The things you want to do

You know I’m never going to get everything done.

And I know you’re never going to get everything done either.

I think ADHD is the disorder of having too much to do. Except of course that we do that to ourselves. There are so many things we want to do on top of what we need to do.

And after a while we get to the point where we can’t tell the difference between what we want to do and what we need to do.

And in fairness …

When we want to do something, we usually need to do it in order to get ourselves balanced.

When something that we want to do gets hold of our minds it is often impossible to shake it out. Sometimes doing the thing is the quickest way to get past the desire.

And when the thing isn’t good for us that’s a problem.

But what about???

What about things that aren’t bad for us?

Yes. Those things that aren’t necessarily bad for us, but that take up time and keep us from other, more important things, we often try to put off, put out of our minds.

And dammit, that often fails.

Typical scenario

We are minding our own business, taking care of our day, and something pops up that we can’t justify doing, but the thing intrigues us.

We start by telling ourselves that we don’t need to do the thing. Then we move on to reminding ourselves of that, “We do not need to do this thing. It is irrelevant in our life. Forget it!”

And eventually we start figuring out a way to contrive to make it something that fits into our day, possibly even working out a way to make it needed.

The result?

The result is, of course, that we do the thing in the end after spending quite a bit of time contriving and manipulating our day and our mind until it is something of way more importance than it ever deserved to be.

And then the thing is always a disappointment, never worth all the time and effort we put into it.

But I am sixty now

I know, you’re thinking, “What does that have to do with anything?” and then you’re wondering if I’m suggesting that I should have grown out of that by now.

Nope.

I’m saying that after sixty years I’ve slowly come to the realization that it is much quicker to spend two minutes figuring out how to do something with haste and get it over with, than to spend long and agonizing amounts of time contriving to make the thing relevant and purposeful.

And guess what?

When you take two minutes to just plan the thing, and maybe five minutes to do it, it’s almost always more fun or more rewarding than if you waste half the day fighting your urge and only paying half your attention to the rest of the day’s needs.

And your day is brighter and smoother.

And you get to be that person who does things spontaneously but doesn’t seem to be wasting time.

I’m telling you, give in, do it quickly, enjoy it, and get back to work. It’s great.

Let’s ride bikes!

The things I have to do


Kelly Babcock

I was born in the city of Toronto in 1959, but moved when I was in my fourth year of life. I was raised and educated in a rural setting, growing up in a manner I like to refer to as free range. I live in an area where my family history stretches back 6 or more generations. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 and have been both struggling with the new reality and using my discoveries to make my life better. I write two blogs here at Psych Central, one about having ADHD and one that is a daily positive affirmation that acts as an example of finding the good in as much of my life as I possibly can.

Find out more about me on my website: writeofway.

email me at ADHD Man


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APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2019). The things I have to do. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 22, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2019/10/the-things-i-have-to-do/

 

Last updated: 8 Oct 2019
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.