My mind wanders … a lot!
And the other day I was thinking about some things I really dislike.
And I got thinking that the world is at least half full of things that displease me.
And then I put my head down to the task of writing a post for my other blog, which is a daily affirmation called, “Today I Love …”
Yes. I caught the paradox as well. And so I took some time to contemplate this.
I mean, who else would be better suited to sit quietly and think about nothing but one single thing for a while than someone with ADHD?
Yes, again I recognize the paradox. But I wanted some insight into this. I wanted to figure out what my opinion of this was.
I first noted that every day of my life, whether it is a day off (I get few of those) or a day completely full of work (I also get few of those) I spend the first twenty to sixty minutes contriving a list of over 400 words in length that describes things I love. And I never fail to find things, though I confess here that I have no problem repeating some of them when the opportunity presents itself because hey, I love some things that much.
But then I continued pondering the curious situation wherein I write about what I love but perceive the world to be so full of things that upset me. And the repeating thing caught fire and burned brightly. The things that irk me are maybe not so many, but they continue to irk me. They repeat. Bigotry, racism, ageism, elitism, the preying upon the poor by the rich or the unscrupulous, the fact that politicians are supposed to work for us but they pay themselves out of our taxes and they decide how much because we foolishly elected them to handle our tax dollars.
I caught myself down the rabbit hole of things that upset me again. And I realized that there’s not that many of them, they just won’t go away. And if I could fix them I would.
And there in lies the problem with the way they are perceived.
They won’t go away, they refuse to. And I constantly wish to see these things fixed. That’s where the repetition comes from.
I would love to fix (or break?) the stigma associated with ADHD. I work away at it every day. I chip away at the mind set of those who would judge this disorder. I do it by being the person I am and owning my ADHD. Me, Mr. Kelly Babcock, Person with ADHD! (Also known as PwADHD, and sometimes shortened to PHD, sorry to the doctors out there, I earned this the hard way. 😉 )
Since I can’t fix stigma instantly and since I refuse to quit working to do that, I am stuck with the need to think about it constantly.
And those thoughts make my perception of stigma a bigger thing than stigma is in comparison to all the positive things that are in my world. And the same holds true for the other negative things in my life. I’m pretty sure there’s more good than bad here, but the bad seems to have a momentum of persistence that will not break.
And I’m loath to put these things in their place. I’m afraid to reset my perception to make these things appear the size they should appear, because I don’t want to forget to continue the battle with them.
So I’m saying that although at least half the things in my life are things that bother me, most of my life is great!