I swear I feel like we’re making headway, and yet …
Yesterday I was out kayaking on our bay. The weather was not perfect, but a cousin was visiting and that cousin, having never kayaked before, was wanting to give it a try.
So we got the kayaks out and three of us headed out onto the bay.
It took a very short time to explain what was needed in the wind and waves, and a longer time for our cousin to develop the subtle finesse that was needed to keep the kayak heading into the wind.
Into the wind?
Yes, when you’re showing someone how to kayak and you have no destination in mind you always go into the wind. They can get back to the launch site by drifting should anything go wrong so long as they travel consistently into the wind.
We paddled for about twenty minutes, maybe twenty five. It was fairly exhausting work.
Waves were regularly the height of our kayaks and some were taller. They were moving at speed and often lifting our front ends into the air and then dropping us into the troughs. There was lots of spume and spray, and the wind pushed on us constantly, determined we should go no further.
We’d gone far enough
When we turned around, we were instantly able to make good time. When outbound the shoreline crawled past at a frustratingly slow rate. On the return run it raced past us like it was late for church.
Our cousin was surprised by how soon we were back to our landing spot. It took less than five minutes to cover the same distance we had spent twenty or more minutes struggling with on the way out.
If we hadn’t bothered paddling back it likely would only have taken eight or so minutes.
Right? With ADHD, we often struggle hard and seem to get nowhere. With life and with the world.
And when we stop to take a break from our struggles, does it not seem like we lose all the headway we’ve made thus far?
Does it not seem like we’ve worked too hard to have only achieved what little we’ve got and does it not seem like those achievements are too easily lost again?
I thought we were making headway with the world. I thought, with the exception of the idiots who still insist that ADHD was made up to sell drugs, that we had managed to get the majority to understand that, even if they didn’t know what ADHD was, that it did in fact exist and it did in fact cause issues in our lives.
I’m not complaining about ADHD. I have this disorder, but I’ve had it all my life and I know nothing different. The knowledge I’ve gained has made things better for me.
But I’m also not willing just say that having ADHD is nothing worth noting and we should just forget about it. My life is better because I acknowledge the issues, not because I deny or ignore them.
An example …
On August 29th of this year, someone named Toni commented on one of my posts saying. “Why would you not give yourself a few extra minutes…just in case? Why take it down to the wire? Sounds more like lack of common sense not ADHD.”
I took the high road and replied that we just don’t see the “wire” coming. But in my heart I was seething. Give myself a few extra minutes? Where do I find these few extra F*CKING minutes? Are you giving them away? Do you have even the faintest clue what this is like?
I thought we had paddled so far. Turns out we are still in sight of the dock. And yet, we cannot turn around. *Sigh.