Every time I think of another oddity in my ADHD life, and realize that it is the opposite of what should be happening, I get a little chill.
Some years ago I called ADHD the disorder of dichotomies or something like that, the obvious reason was that we were capable of focus but not of focusing on what we needed to focus on.
The second reason for that was how when we seem to be bouncing all over the place, stimulant medications help us mellow and slow down into a controlled pace of thought and action.
And then …
Over the years of writing this column I’ve discovered many more dichotomies, some very subtle, that all seem to have some sort of connection with ADHD.
I’m wickedly agile, yet can trip while standing still.
I can remember being in my crib nearly sixty years ago, but I have to look on my calendar to see if I’m going to the right place this morning, though I’ve already looked a dozen times.
I realized this morning, when a hundred things are going on in my world, I have trouble being inspired.
Additionally, back home people are vandalizing sacred and holy places. On top of that a dear friend from high school passed away and I did not get to say goodbye.
There should be a swirl of inspiration in my head happening right now, but when it comes to this blog … I was lost.
I mean, I could have written about dealing with loss or hatred when one has ADHD, and I probably will yet, but that didn’t fit into my mind today.
And I could have written about traveling when one has trouble staying focused, but I couldn’t focus on that either.
So the dichotomy is?
The dichotomy is, in the form of a question, why can I not write when surrounded by inspiration, and why do I have much less trouble coming up with a topic when I am uninspired?
I’m going to call it distraction’s fault. If there weren’t so many things going on I could possibly concentrate on the few or the one.
But even as I am saying that, I balk at the word “concentrate.”
On top of that misgiving about this situation, I also have to consider this: All the things that are going on … are still going on while I write about this so called dichotomy I have perceived to exist.
There is little wonder that ADHD complicates life, little doubt that it affects lives negatively, but there is still much to ponder when it comes to figuring out how.
But I’m still working on it. When I’m able …